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Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
Growing up in a narcissistic home can leave deep emotional scars. Narcissistic parents often create an environment where their needs and desires take precedence over those of their children, leading to feelings of neglect, low self-esteem, and confusion about one’s own identity and worth. Healing from such an upbringing is a journey that requires time, patience, and self-compassion. Let's explore the impact of a narcissistic home and strategies for recovery and self-rediscovery. How Do I Know If I Grew Up in a Narcissistic Home? Recognizing that you grew up in a narcissistic home can be challenging, especially since it often involves coming to terms with painful realities about your upbringing. Here are some nuanced signs and examples that may indicate a narcissistic family dynamic:
It’s not uncommon for siblings to have different perceptions of their childhood, especially in a narcissistic home. Several factors can contribute to these varying perspectives:
Navigating the Emotional Terrain Healing from the wounds of a narcissistic home involves a process of self-exploration, setting boundaries, and finding supportive relationships. Acknowledging your experience is the first step. Recognize and validate your feelings about your upbringing, accepting that your experiences were real and had a significant impact on you. Learning about narcissism and its effects on children can provide clarity and context for your feelings and behaviors. Seeking therapy can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can help you unpack your experiences, process your emotions, and develop healthier patterns of thinking and behavior. Establishing boundaries is crucial as well. This may involve limiting contact with narcissistic family members or clearly communicating your needs and limits. Practicing self-compassion is essential. Be kind to yourself and recognize that healing is a journey with inevitable setbacks. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Building a support network of understanding and supportive individuals can provide much-needed encouragement and perspective. Focusing on self-discovery helps in reconnecting with your true self. Take time to explore your interests, passions, and values, which can aid in rebuilding your identity and sense of purpose. How Can I Have a Relationship with My Narcissistic Parent? Maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic parent can be challenging, but it is possible with clear boundaries and realistic expectations. Here are some tips:
Reclaiming Your Life Healing from a narcissistic home is not just about overcoming past trauma but also about reclaiming your life and moving forward with confidence and clarity. Developing healthy relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and support can reinforce your sense of self-worth. Prioritizing self-care through activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit, such as exercise, hobbies, or meditation, is crucial. Setting realistic personal and professional goals that align with your values and aspirations can provide a sense of accomplishment and direction. Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations and realistic self-assessments to counteract the negative beliefs instilled by narcissistic parents. Embrace the freedom that comes with breaking away from narcissistic control. Celebrate your ability to make decisions, set boundaries, and live a life that reflects your true self. A Personal Note Healing from a narcissistic home is a courageous journey of self-rediscovery and empowerment. Remember, you are not defined by your past, but by the strength and resilience you show in overcoming it. If you need support on this journey, please reach out to schedule an appointment. We are here to help you navigate the challenges and reclaim your sense of self and purpose. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
In today's polarized political climate, navigating family dynamics can be particularly challenging. Political discussions can quickly become heated, leading to tension and conflict within families. Maintaining healthy relationships while respecting differing viewpoints is crucial, yet difficult. This post explores strategies to manage these complex interactions and foster a more harmonious family environment. Understanding the Impact of Political Division Political beliefs are often deeply personal and tied to our identities. When family members hold differing views, it can feel like more than just a disagreement—it can feel like a challenge to your values and sense of self. This can lead to:
1. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what topics are off-limits to maintain peace. For example, you might agree to avoid political discussions at family gatherings. Setting boundaries helps prevent conflicts and ensures everyone feels comfortable. 2. Practice Active Listening: When political discussions do arise, strive to listen actively and empathetically. This means truly hearing the other person’s perspective without immediately planning your rebuttal. Showing respect for their viewpoint can foster mutual understanding, even if you don't agree. 3. Find Common Ground: Focus on shared values and goals. While political beliefs might differ, many families share common hopes and concerns, such as the well-being of children or community safety. Highlighting these shared values can bridge gaps and reduce tension. 4. Use “I” Statements: Communicate your feelings and beliefs using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I feel concerned about…” rather than, “You are wrong about…” This approach can reduce defensiveness and keep the conversation respectful. 5. Agree to Disagree: Recognize that it's okay to have differing opinions. Agreeing to disagree allows you to accept that you won’t change each other’s minds and can move on from contentious topics without animosity. 6. Take Breaks: If discussions become too heated, it’s important to take a break. Stepping away from the conversation can prevent it from escalating and give everyone time to cool down. 7. Seek Neutral Activities: Engage in activities that aren’t politically charged. Family outings, games, or shared hobbies can strengthen bonds and remind everyone of their connection beyond politics. Managing Your Own Emotions 1. Practice Self-Care: Dealing with political tension can be draining. Ensure you’re taking care of your mental and physical health through exercise, relaxation techniques, and activities that bring you joy. 2. Reflect on Your Triggers: Understand what specifically triggers your emotional responses during political discussions. Awareness of these triggers can help you manage your reactions more effectively. 3. Seek Support: Talk to friends, a therapist, or support groups about your experiences. Sharing your feelings in a safe space can provide relief and new perspectives on managing family dynamics. When is Enough, Enough? Considering Cutting Ties Over Politics There may come a point when the conflict and distress caused by political differences with family members become too much to bear. While it's a deeply personal decision, here are some considerations that might help you determine if cutting ties is the right choice for you: 1. Consistent Disrespect and Harm: If political discussions consistently lead to disrespectful or harmful behavior towards you or other family members, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship. Chronic stress and emotional harm are legitimate reasons to consider distancing yourself. 2. Lack of Boundaries: If your attempts to set and maintain boundaries are continually ignored or violated, and this behavior impacts your mental health, it may be a sign that maintaining the relationship is detrimental to your well-being. 3. Personal Values and Integrity: If the political differences touch on fundamental values and beliefs that are core to your identity and integrity, it may be difficult to reconcile these differences without feeling compromised or disrespected. 4. Emotional and Psychological Impact: Evaluate the emotional and psychological toll the relationship takes on you. If interactions leave you feeling drained, anxious, or depressed, prioritizing your mental health might mean stepping back from these relationships. Moving Forward with Intention Deciding to cut ties with family over political differences is not easy and should be approached with careful consideration. If you choose to distance yourself, do so with a clear understanding of your reasons and the potential impact on your life. Seek support from friends, a therapist, or support groups to navigate this challenging decision. A Personal Note Navigating family dynamics in a divisive political environment is challenging but not impossible. By setting boundaries, practicing active listening, and focusing on common ground, you can foster a more respectful and understanding family atmosphere. Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and seek support when needed. If you find yourself struggling with these dynamics, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional guidance. If you need help managing family tensions or want to explore these issues further, please reach out to schedule an appointment. We're here to support you in navigating these challenging conversations and maintaining healthy family relationships. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
Mindfulness is often associated with meditation, which can be off-putting for those who find traditional meditation practices challenging, boring, or uncomfortable. However, mindfulness isn't limited to sitting silently and focusing on your breath. There are numerous ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life without meditating. This guide explores practical and accessible mindfulness techniques for people who hate meditation. Understanding Mindfulness Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with a non-judgmental attitude. It involves being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations without getting caught up in them. The goal is to develop a deeper awareness of your experiences and to respond to them with greater clarity and calm. Why Traditional Meditation Isn't for Everyone Traditional meditation often involves sitting still, focusing on the breath, and quieting the mind. For many, this can be difficult and unappealing due to various reasons:
Fortunately, there are many ways to practice mindfulness without meditation. Here are some techniques to help you cultivate mindfulness in a way that suits your preferences and lifestyle: 1. Mindful Walking: Walking mindfully involves paying attention to the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the sights and sounds around you. It’s about immersing yourself in the experience of walking, whether it's a stroll in the park or a walk around your neighborhood. 2. Mindful Eating: Mindful eating encourages you to savor each bite, notice the flavors, textures, and aromas of your food, and appreciate the experience of eating. This practice can help you develop a healthier relationship with food and enhance your enjoyment of meals. 3. Body Scan: A body scan involves lying down or sitting comfortably and paying attention to different parts of your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head. This practice helps you become aware of physical sensations and release tension. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
In everyday conversations, you might hear someone casually say, "I'm so OCD," when referring to their habits of keeping things tidy or organized. But what does it really mean to have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and is it accurate or fair to use the term in this way? Let's explore the difference between having a preference for orderliness and living with a clinically diagnosed mental health condition. Misconceptions About OCD OCD is often misunderstood and misrepresented in popular culture. While many people might describe themselves as "a bit OCD" because they like things neat or have specific routines, true OCD is far more complex and challenging. The casual use of "OCD" in everyday language can minimize the struggles faced by those who live with this disorder. What is OCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by:
Example:
It's important to distinguish between having preferences or being meticulous and having OCD. Here are some key differences: 1. Voluntary vs. Involuntary:
When people casually say, "I'm so OCD," they inadvertently trivialize the experiences of those who struggle with this condition. This can contribute to stigma and misunderstanding, making it harder for individuals with OCD to seek help and be taken seriously. Seeking Help for OCD If you find that your thoughts and behaviors are causing you significant distress or interfering with your daily life, it might be time to seek professional help. Effective treatments for OCD include: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
A Personal Note As someone deeply committed to mental health awareness, I encourage you to be mindful of how we use terms like "OCD" in our everyday language. Understanding the true nature of OCD helps foster empathy and support for those affected by it. If you think you might have OCD, know that you are not alone, and help is available. Reach out to a mental health professional to explore your options and start your journey toward better mental health. For more information or to schedule an appointment, please contact our office. We are here to support you on your path to understanding and managing OCD. Author: Rachel Silberman, Clinical Trainee Losing a loved one is an incredibly challenging experience for anyone, but for children, navigating grief can be especially confusing and overwhelming. They may struggle to understand their emotions or find it difficult to express themselves verbally. In times like these, traditional talk therapy might not be the most effective approach for children to cope with their grief. This is where play therapy comes in.
Play therapy offers a safe and supportive environment for children to explore and express their feelings through play. Whether it's using toys, art materials, or engaging in imaginative play, children are given the freedom to communicate in a way that feels natural to them. Here's how play therapy can benefit children who are grieving: 1. Non-verbal expression: Children often find it challenging to articulate their emotions verbally, especially during times of grief when their feelings may be complex and overwhelming. Play therapy provides them with a non-verbal outlet to express themselves, allowing them to communicate through play rather than words. 2. Emotional processing: Through play, children can symbolically reenact their experiences and emotions, helping them process and make sense of their grief in a way that feels safe and manageable. Whether it's role-playing scenes from their past or creating artwork that reflects their feelings, play therapy encourages emotional exploration and understanding. 3. Normalization of feelings: Grief can be isolating, especially for children who may feel like they're the only ones experiencing such intense emotions. In play therapy, children realize that their feelings are normal and valid. They see that it's okay to express sadness, anger, or confusion, and they learn healthy ways to cope with these emotions. 4. Building coping skills: Play therapy equips children with coping skills and strategies to navigate their grief journey. Through guided play activities, they learn how to regulate their emotions, manage stress, and develop resilience in the face of adversity. These skills not only help them cope with grief but also empower them to face future challenges with confidence. 5. Strengthening relationships: Play therapy can also facilitate communication and strengthen relationships between children and their caregivers. By engaging in therapeutic play together, families can bond, share experiences, and support each other through the grieving process. In conclusion, play therapy offers a unique and effective approach to supporting children who are grieving. By providing a safe space for expression, emotional processing, and skill-building, play therapy helps children navigate their grief journey in a healthy and constructive way. Through play, children can find healing, resilience, and hope as they learn to cope with loss and embrace life once again Author: Rachel Silberman, Clinical Trainee In the realm of mental health care, the decision to pay out of pocket for therapy or counseling services is a nuanced one, influenced by a variety of factors ranging from privacy concerns to personal priorities. This choice is not only made by clients seeking therapy but also by therapists themselves who opt for a private pay model. Let's delve deeper into the rationale behind this decision and explore strategies for both clients and therapists navigating the landscape of private payments in mental health care.
Privacy Concerns: One significant reason individuals choose to pay out of pocket is to maintain confidentiality. In environments where mental health diagnoses may impact professional reputations, such as workplaces, private payments offer a shield against potential stigma or discrimination. Access to Specific Services: Another driving force behind private payments is the desire for access to specialized treatments or modalities that may not be covered by insurance. Additionally, some individuals may require more frequent sessions than insurance allows, making out-of-pocket payments a practical solution. High Deductibles and Out-of-Network Benefits: With the prevalence of high deductibles in many insurance plans, individuals often find that out-of-pocket payments are comparable to insurance copays. Moreover, paying privately allows individuals the flexibility to choose their preferred provider, even if they are out-of-network. Personal Priorities and Belief in the Therapist: People allocate funds to what they value, and mental health services often hold a high priority. Clients are willing to invest in private payments if they believe the therapist can effectively address their concerns and provide valuable support. While private payments offer numerous benefits, it's essential to acknowledge that not everyone can afford this option. Inclusive solutions such as pro-bono slots or sliding scales are crucial for ensuring that mental health care remains accessible to all individuals, regardless of financial constraints. Author: Fiona Smith Taproot Therapy offers two Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) evaluations with specially trained evaluators: the Autism Diagnostic Interview Revised (ADI-R) and the Autism Diagnostic Observation Schedule (ADOS). Many clients seeking autism evaluations wonder where to begin. Though both are effective diagnostic tools, there are key differences between the assessments. The ADOS evaluation was developed in the 1980s and updated in 2012. The ADI-R evaluation was updated in 2003, following its original development in 1989. The ADI-R is useful if the interviewee has knowledge or access to knowledge of their developmental history. This evaluation is conducted in a structured, interview-style format with the clinician posing questions to the interviewee and takes into account a client’s full history from childhood until present. The ADI-R can be completed by a caregiver, parent, or close affiliate with knowledge of one’s childhood history. If a young child is being tested for an autism diagnosis, this is often a helpful evaluation for a caregiver to complete. For example, this interview may ask about specific habits or routines in childhood, and dives into detail on topics such as pronominal reversal. This evaluation can also be helpful for high-masking individuals, as it delves into behaviors from early childhood and toddler years. The ADOS evaluation is useful if the interviewee does not have access to developmental history. It is very present-focused and is an observation-style session, where the clinician assesses the interviewee’s communication skills, social interactions, and imaginative use of materials through semi-structured directions. Some examples of ADOS related testing include the construction of a puzzle, telling of a story, discussion of future plans, and more. Present concerns are also discussed. This evaluation is helpful as it takes into account behaviors and actions in the room in front of the evaluator. It is entirely up to your specific needs and preferences as to which evaluation (or both!) to pursue. As these assessments offer results based on different frameworks (one, the past; the other, present observations), many clients choose to complete both evaluations for a complete picture, if feasible financially and time-wise. Either way, both evaluations provide accurate and clear indications of whether or not a diagnosis of ASD is necessary. Email Erin Iwanusa at [email protected] to learn more, or to schedule an evaluation!Author: Carly Barocas, Clinical Trainee Why ADI-Rs Matter in Autism Spectrum Disorder Diagnosis Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a complex developmental condition that involves persistent challenges in social interaction, speech, nonverbal communication, and restricted and repetitive behaviors. The range and severity of symptoms vary widely, making accurate diagnosis crucial for effective support and interventions. One of the most reliable tools in the assessment of ASD is the Autism Diagnostic Interview-Revised (ADI-R). Developed by leading experts, the ADI-R is a structured interview used by clinicians to assess autism in children and adults. It plays a pivotal role in understanding the nuances of ASD and ensuring accurate diagnosis. How ADI-Rs Work The ADI-R involves an interview between a trained examiner and the individual being assessed or the parent/caregiver of the individual being assessed. The interview focuses on four key areas:
This comprehensive interview typically takes about two hours to complete and covers various topics related to the individual’s developmental history and current behavior. Why Choose Taproot for ADI-Rs? At our practice, we prioritize accurate and compassionate evaluation. Our team is comprised of experienced professionals trained in the administration of ADI-Rs. We understand the nuances and complexities of ASD and are committed to providing thorough assessments that respect the individuality of each client. Our approach is not just about diagnosis; it’s about understanding and supporting our clients and their families through their journey with ASD. We believe in a holistic approach, where the ADI-R is the starting point for a pathway to effective intervention and support. At the end of your evaluation, we provide you with a thorough list of recommendations and a follow-up meeting to review all referrals. Email Erin Iwanusa at [email protected] to learn more, or to schedule an evaluation!
Author: Danielle Alberta, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee Summertime is finally here! For many of us, the warm weather may provide a much needed respite from the low-energy moods that we may feel in the colder months. Since we only have the warmth for a few short months, it might be beneficial to take advantage of it while it's here, spending more time outdoors or exploring new parts of the city. Mindfulness is a core skill of Dialectical Behavior Therapy that can be used this summer to allow us to be more present and appreciative of the good energy that the warmth brings with it. Mindfulness can be used to ground us in the present moment, fully engage with our surroundings, or notice any sensations or feelings arising within us.
The great thing about mindfulness is that we often engage in it without knowing that we are doing it. The mindful experience is fully immersing ourselves into one task, without multitasking or judging it. For example, this might happen naturally while washing the dishes, doing the laundry, or cooking a meal. Now, we can name these everyday activities as mindful activities and then employ them when we are feeling stressed, anxious, or are lost in our negative thoughts. A great and simple way to practice mindfulness at any time is to engage our senses (sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch) because they can help to ground us in the here and now or fully experience a moment. Here are some ways that we can engage our five senses this summer in New York City:
Mindfulness can be done in many small ways throughout the day. Recognizing opportunities to practice being mindful is the first step in cultivating self-awareness. If we can draw on our mindfulness skills in times of peace, we can more easily apply mindfulness skills when we are experiencing overwhelming emotional or physical responses. Try connecting with your five senses this summer using these examples. As you get more comfortable with identifying opportunities to be mindful, make your own list of mindfulness activities or ways to engage your senses throughout the day! By Rachel Silberman, Clinical TraineeJournaling can be an extremely effective mental health outlet and coping mechanism for many individuals. It provides a structured space for individuals to express and explore their thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental environment. The act of putting thoughts onto paper can provide a cathartic release, helping individuals gain clarity and perspective on their feelings. Moreover, it offers a tangible record of one's emotional journey, allowing for reflection and identification of patterns over time. This self-awareness can be a crucial step in understanding triggers, managing stress, and fostering personal growth. Ultimately, the practice of journaling empowers individuals to cultivate a deeper connection with themselves, promoting emotional well-being and resilience in the face of life's challenges. Studies have found that journaling can reduce mental health distress significantly. A study (2023) conducted by Smyth et al. found that journaling can serve as an effective intervention for mitigating mental distress, increasing well-being, and enhancing positive physical functioning. It is also important to note that while journaling can be an effective tool for many individuals, it is most effective in combination with other modes of mental health assistance such as therapy. If you are struggling to get started, consider writing about some of the following journal prompts from Switch Research (2022)!
Smyth JM, Johnson JA, Auer BJ, Lehman E, Talamo G, Sciamanna CN. Online Positive Affect Journaling in the Improvement of Mental Distress and Well-Being in General Medical Patients With Elevated Anxiety Symptoms: A Preliminary Randomized Controlled Trial. JMIR Ment Health. 2018 Dec 10;5(4):e11290. doi: 10.2196/11290. PMID: 30530460; PMCID: PMC6305886. |
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