Are you and your partner ready to deepen your bond, improve communication, and create a stronger, more resilient relationship? Our 6-week online Gottman-Informed Couples Therapy Program offers a unique opportunity to strengthen your relationship in a supportive, structured setting.
Why Choose Gottman-Informed Couples Therapy? The Gottman Method is renowned for its evidence-based approach to helping couples build lasting connections. Grounded in decades of research, the Gottman Method focuses on enhancing relationship fundamentals like friendship, intimacy, and conflict management—tools that any couple can benefit from. Whether you're newly together or have been a couple for years, this program provides insights and practices to bring you closer and resolve challenges together. What to Expect in Our Couples Therapy Program Our structured 6-week program offers a blend of individual and joint sessions, combining Gottman Method principles with practical steps toward strengthening your relationship. Program Overview:
Who Is This Program For? This online program is ideal for any couple committed to enhancing their connection and communication, regardless of relationship stage. It’s perfect for partners who want to learn new ways to navigate challenges, build deeper trust, and create a shared sense of purpose. Why Invest in Your Relationship Now? In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy for relationships to take a backseat to other priorities. Yet a strong, healthy partnership is a foundation for overall happiness and stability. This online program offers dedicated time for couples to reconnect, learn, and grow—an investment that can have lasting benefits. Ready to strengthen your relationship? Spaces are limited! Reserve your spot today by contacting hello@taproottherapynyc.com and take the first step towards a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Author: Izzy Michels, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
When so much is being asked or expected of you, it can feel nearly impossible to check in with yourself about what you really need amidst the chaos. Setting boundaries is a crucial part of maintaining your mental and emotional health. Advocating for yourself can be challenging, especially in tough situations or strained relationships. However, the first step in setting boundaries is realizing that you have the autonomy to do so. What are Boundaries? Boundaries are guidelines that help you define what is personally acceptable and what is not in your relationships and interactions. They can be physical, emotional, or even digital. Think of boundaries as a protective fence around your personal space—one that keeps you safe while allowing healthy connections to flourish. What is the Difference Between a Boundary and a Request? Boundary: An internal guideline you establish for yourself. Request: An external ask you make of others. Why Boundaries Matter
Recognizing Your Limits Before you can set boundaries, it’s essential to understand your limits. Reflect on situations where you feel drained or overwhelmed. Ask yourself:
Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is a vital skill for maintaining a healthy balance in life. By taking the time to understand and communicate your limits, you create a foundation for healthier relationships and improved overall well-being. It’s not always easy but remember it’s possible! Author: Lexi Campbell, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Many kinds of people alter their behaviors to meet expected social, cultural, or situational norms. While neurotypical individuals may not have to actively think about their behaviors to satisfy social norms, neurodiverse individuals often feel pressure to conform and meet social expectations (Pearson & Rose, 2021; Stanich, 2024). The term masking refers to the act of concealing neurodivergent behavior in favor of neurotypical alternatives for social interaction, behavior, and sensory experience, in order to socially conform and evade detection as neurodiverse (Pearson & Rose, 2021). Many neurodiverse individuals, particularly those living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, feel masking is necessary to avoid exclusion and discrimination, and to ensure safety (Stanich, 2024). Masking techniques can vary depending on the individual, but examples include forcing oneself to make and maintain eye contact, suppressing reactions to disruptive sensory stimuli, rehearsing scripts of responses before a conversation, imitating how neurotypical individuals talk and interact with others, forcing oneself to engage in small talk despite being uninterested or exhausted, and monitoring personal behavior through an internal dialogue (Stanich, 2024). Research indicates that masking is heavily influenced by environment and context: race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, disability status, immigration status, and other intersections of identity impact when and why masking occurs and how masking is used by a neurodiverse individual (Pearson & Rose, 2021). While masking minimizes the risk of discrimination and often prevents social stigma, it often comes at a cost to the masked individual. Long-term masking has been connected to mental health challenges including burnout, anxiety, depression, substance use, and a loss of sense of self (Pearson & Rose, 2021; Stanich, 2024). Unmasking is the process in which a neurodiverse person stops trying to act neurotypical and instead works towards embracing their authentic self (Stanich, 2024). Unmasking might look like finding quiet when experiencing intense sensory stimuli, taking alone time to recharge as needed, not forcing eye contact, connecting with the neurodiverse community, indulging in spaces that support one’s special interests, and embracing one’s unique neurodiverse traits with compassion and without negative judgment (Stanich, 2024). It is important to note that unmasking should be done with safety in mind— neurodiverse BIPOC, neurodiverse LGBTQIA+, and neurodiverse individuals with multiple intersecting identities face additional barriers due to pervasive, institutional discrimination, and may need to take precautions to ensure their safety in certain contexts given their marginalized status in a variety of environments. The process of unmasking is different for each neurodiverse individual. For many, safely unmasking is a key step in living life with self-determination and authenticity. Wherever one is in their journey, the support of an affirming mental health professional and neurodiverse peer support groups can be immensely supportive and impactful. Taproot Therapy has several clinicians with experience supporting the neurodiverse community. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, should you or someone you care about wish to explore their neurodiverse authentic self. References Cleveland Clinic. (2024). Neurodivergent. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent Stanich, A. (2024). All the World’s a (Neurotypical) Stage: Neurodivergent Folklore, Autistic Masking, and Virtual Spaces for Discussing Autistic Identity. Journal of American Folklore, 137(545): 293-307. https://doi.org/10.5406/15351882.137.545.02 Pearson, A. & Rose, K. (2021). A Conceptual Analysis of Autistic Masking: Understanding the Narrative of Stigma and the Illusion of Choice. Autism in Adulthood, 3(1): 52-60. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0043 Author: Lexi Campbell, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Self-compassion is the act of directing the same kindness that you might be inclined to show a friend who is struggling, back towards yourself (Neff, 2015). It is actively supporting you when you are feeling inadequate, experiencing a challenge, or recovering from making a mistake. Rather than criticize your shortcomings, self-compassion urges you to identify the pain you are experiencing and ask yourself: what is the best way I can comfort and care for myself right now? Self-compassion is an impactful tool to address our suffering because it helps us to identify our unique needs, feel less alone, and soothe ourselves in challenging moments. There are three key elements of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness (Neff, 2015). First, self-compassion begins with expressing kindness to ourselves. Rather than judge or blame ourselves for our suffering, we instead try to be gentle, patient, encouraging, and supportive—much like a good friend or mentor might be (Neff, 2015). This helps us to feel safe and cope more effectively with challenges. Second, self-compassion is rooted in a sense of common humanity (Neff, 2015). It is a reminder that all humans experience suffering— which may differ greatly in type and amount— but that being human is the experience of vulnerability, imperfection, challenge, and at times, failure. When we are self-compassionate, we remind ourselves that we are not alone. Third, self-compassion encourages a thoughtful approach to coping with challenges (Neff, 2015). Mindfulness helps us to observe our struggle without judging it as bad or good, and instead consider the situation from alternative perspectives. It helps us identify less with the negativity of our suffering and more with compassion in how we might treat a friend in a similar situation (Neff, 2015). If you are interested in exploring the concept of self-compassion more, follow the guided exercise below: How would you treat a friend?
References Neff, K. (2015). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow Paperbacks. Author: Nora Carnevale, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Throughout life, change is a constant. However, when it comes to making a specific change in our lives, we often experience feelings of ambivalence. Experiencing ambivalence in the face of change is normal, since there is safety and security in maintaining our own status quo. Motivational interviewing (MI) is an evidence-based, person-centered method for bringing about change (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). “Motivation” refers to what helps inspire someone to action, and “interviewing” refers to the fact that one person is guiding the interaction (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). While potential changes can take many forms, some examples relate to pursuing new career paths, setting boundaries, finding healthy coping mechanisms, and navigating interpersonal relationships. Through use of MI skills, a clinician can begin to understand what truly moves someone to take the first steps on a new path. The concept of motivational interviewing grew out of close observations and reflections on clinical interactions. Initially used to help individuals recovering from alcohol use disorder, it has since grown into a broadly applicable practice and accompanies a variety of therapeutic modalities. Globally, MI has been widely studied and there are more than 2,000 controlled clinical trials involving its use (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). As further evidence of its applicability, MI is used across a broad range of professions that offer health and education services to individuals and communities. MI acknowledges that change is a process that unfolds over time, and often through interpersonal exchanges. The “MI Spirit” that practitioners draw from consists of partnership, acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. Partnership between a clinician and client refers to viewing the process of therapy as a collaboration, with both individuals working toward the goals that a client identifies for themselves. Therapists meet clients where they are without judgment and with full acceptance, recognizing that motivation for change typically does not arise from feeling shame or worthlessness, but from being fully accepted (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). In addition, compassion comes into play as an intent to give top priority to the health and well-being of the individual seeking help. Finally, empowerment is a result of recognizing that clients already have what they need to change, and a therapist using MI is simply helping them to find it. This spirit is reflected in the way therapists engage with clients about change and growth in order to strengthen motivation and commitment. According to Miller and Rollnick (2023), “when people learn about MI, they often seem to recognize it as if they were being reminded of something they already knew about being human.” Through this proven tool, it is possible to cultivate hope and optimism regarding our ability to change. References Miller, W.R. & Rollnick, S. (2023). Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change and Grow (4th ed). The Guilford Press. Author: Lexi Campbell, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
In our modern lives, we often find ourselves in motion. We fill our days with movement: we email, we scroll, we worry, we text, we ruminate, we react— we do our best to keep up with a fast-paced world. What would it be like to consciously pause in the face of this constant activity? What would it look like to intentionally slow our mental workload from rushing around our mind, and instead stop for a minute or two, and simply observe what we are feeling? Pausing is a momentary suspension of activity: a temporary disengagement from the act of doing something (Brach, 2003). Pausing can last several minutes or more, and after a pre- determined amount of time, we return to our activities. As we practice pausing, we stop what we’re doing and we try to be completely present with our inner experience at that moment in time (Brach, 2003). We take deep breaths, notice the sensations in our bodies, and name our feelings without judgment. Please know that there are times when pausing is not appropriate. If our life or someone else’s life is in danger we don’t pause— we instead work towards safety. But when danger to ourselves or others is not a threat, practicing pausing can be a powerful way to find calm, as well as a key tool to reach for when we feel anxious, overstimulated, disconnected, or even when we are struggling in a disagreement with a friend or loved one (Brach, 2003). If you are interested in trying out a ‘pause,’ please follow the guided prompt below. Choose a time that you are engaged in an activity (such as reading, emailing, cleaning, texting, scrolling social media, eating, etc.) and explore pausing for a minute or more. Begin by stopping the activity you are currently doing, sitting comfortably in a chair or on the ground, and if it feels safe to do so, closing your eyes. Take four to five deep breaths. With each exhale, start to notice: what does my body feel like right now? What sensations are coming up as I breathe in and then exhale out? Some of us might notice the grounding feeling of having our feet firmly on the floor. Others might notice a tension in their shoulders. Perhaps some of us notice our muscles relax more with each deep breath. Then ask yourself, what feelings do I notice right now? For some of us, pausing might feel difficult and we notice that we’re feeling restless. Perhaps we feel a desire to return to our activity. Some of us may experience a deep sense of peace in pausing. Do your best to name each feeling as it comes up, without any judgment as to whether it’s good or bad. Continue to breathe deeply and observe the sensations in your body and your inner feelings. Then, when you feel ready, open your eyes, end the pause, and return to your activity. But as you return, ask yourself: do I notice any changes within myself after pausing? The practice of pausing might feel at odds with the busyness of day-to-day life. However, even small and brief acts of pausing can foster deeper connections with our feelings and our experiences, as well as offer refuge in an increasingly busy world. References Brach, T. (2003). Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha. Bantam Books. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
Growing up in a narcissistic home can leave deep emotional scars. Narcissistic parents often create an environment where their needs and desires take precedence over those of their children, leading to feelings of neglect, low self-esteem, and confusion about one’s own identity and worth. Healing from such an upbringing is a journey that requires time, patience, and self-compassion. Let's explore the impact of a narcissistic home and strategies for recovery and self-rediscovery. How Do I Know If I Grew Up in a Narcissistic Home? Recognizing that you grew up in a narcissistic home can be challenging, especially since it often involves coming to terms with painful realities about your upbringing. Here are some nuanced signs and examples that may indicate a narcissistic family dynamic:
It’s not uncommon for siblings to have different perceptions of their childhood, especially in a narcissistic home. Several factors can contribute to these varying perspectives:
Navigating the Emotional Terrain Healing from the wounds of a narcissistic home involves a process of self-exploration, setting boundaries, and finding supportive relationships. Acknowledging your experience is the first step. Recognize and validate your feelings about your upbringing, accepting that your experiences were real and had a significant impact on you. Learning about narcissism and its effects on children can provide clarity and context for your feelings and behaviors. Seeking therapy can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can help you unpack your experiences, process your emotions, and develop healthier patterns of thinking and behavior. Establishing boundaries is crucial as well. This may involve limiting contact with narcissistic family members or clearly communicating your needs and limits. Practicing self-compassion is essential. Be kind to yourself and recognize that healing is a journey with inevitable setbacks. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Building a support network of understanding and supportive individuals can provide much-needed encouragement and perspective. Focusing on self-discovery helps in reconnecting with your true self. Take time to explore your interests, passions, and values, which can aid in rebuilding your identity and sense of purpose. How Can I Have a Relationship with My Narcissistic Parent? Maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic parent can be challenging, but it is possible with clear boundaries and realistic expectations. Here are some tips:
Reclaiming Your Life Healing from a narcissistic home is not just about overcoming past trauma but also about reclaiming your life and moving forward with confidence and clarity. Developing healthy relationships based on mutual respect, understanding, and support can reinforce your sense of self-worth. Prioritizing self-care through activities that nourish your body, mind, and spirit, such as exercise, hobbies, or meditation, is crucial. Setting realistic personal and professional goals that align with your values and aspirations can provide a sense of accomplishment and direction. Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive affirmations and realistic self-assessments to counteract the negative beliefs instilled by narcissistic parents. Embrace the freedom that comes with breaking away from narcissistic control. Celebrate your ability to make decisions, set boundaries, and live a life that reflects your true self. A Personal Note Healing from a narcissistic home is a courageous journey of self-rediscovery and empowerment. Remember, you are not defined by your past, but by the strength and resilience you show in overcoming it. If you need support on this journey, please reach out to schedule an appointment. We are here to help you navigate the challenges and reclaim your sense of self and purpose. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
In today's polarized political climate, navigating family dynamics can be particularly challenging. Political discussions can quickly become heated, leading to tension and conflict within families. Maintaining healthy relationships while respecting differing viewpoints is crucial, yet difficult. This post explores strategies to manage these complex interactions and foster a more harmonious family environment. Understanding the Impact of Political Division Political beliefs are often deeply personal and tied to our identities. When family members hold differing views, it can feel like more than just a disagreement—it can feel like a challenge to your values and sense of self. This can lead to:
1. Set Boundaries: Clearly define what topics are off-limits to maintain peace. For example, you might agree to avoid political discussions at family gatherings. Setting boundaries helps prevent conflicts and ensures everyone feels comfortable. 2. Practice Active Listening: When political discussions do arise, strive to listen actively and empathetically. This means truly hearing the other person’s perspective without immediately planning your rebuttal. Showing respect for their viewpoint can foster mutual understanding, even if you don't agree. 3. Find Common Ground: Focus on shared values and goals. While political beliefs might differ, many families share common hopes and concerns, such as the well-being of children or community safety. Highlighting these shared values can bridge gaps and reduce tension. 4. Use “I” Statements: Communicate your feelings and beliefs using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I feel concerned about…” rather than, “You are wrong about…” This approach can reduce defensiveness and keep the conversation respectful. 5. Agree to Disagree: Recognize that it's okay to have differing opinions. Agreeing to disagree allows you to accept that you won’t change each other’s minds and can move on from contentious topics without animosity. 6. Take Breaks: If discussions become too heated, it’s important to take a break. Stepping away from the conversation can prevent it from escalating and give everyone time to cool down. 7. Seek Neutral Activities: Engage in activities that aren’t politically charged. Family outings, games, or shared hobbies can strengthen bonds and remind everyone of their connection beyond politics. Managing Your Own Emotions 1. Practice Self-Care: Dealing with political tension can be draining. Ensure you’re taking care of your mental and physical health through exercise, relaxation techniques, and activities that bring you joy. 2. Reflect on Your Triggers: Understand what specifically triggers your emotional responses during political discussions. Awareness of these triggers can help you manage your reactions more effectively. 3. Seek Support: Talk to friends, a therapist, or support groups about your experiences. Sharing your feelings in a safe space can provide relief and new perspectives on managing family dynamics. When is Enough, Enough? Considering Cutting Ties Over Politics There may come a point when the conflict and distress caused by political differences with family members become too much to bear. While it's a deeply personal decision, here are some considerations that might help you determine if cutting ties is the right choice for you: 1. Consistent Disrespect and Harm: If political discussions consistently lead to disrespectful or harmful behavior towards you or other family members, it may be necessary to reassess the relationship. Chronic stress and emotional harm are legitimate reasons to consider distancing yourself. 2. Lack of Boundaries: If your attempts to set and maintain boundaries are continually ignored or violated, and this behavior impacts your mental health, it may be a sign that maintaining the relationship is detrimental to your well-being. 3. Personal Values and Integrity: If the political differences touch on fundamental values and beliefs that are core to your identity and integrity, it may be difficult to reconcile these differences without feeling compromised or disrespected. 4. Emotional and Psychological Impact: Evaluate the emotional and psychological toll the relationship takes on you. If interactions leave you feeling drained, anxious, or depressed, prioritizing your mental health might mean stepping back from these relationships. Moving Forward with Intention Deciding to cut ties with family over political differences is not easy and should be approached with careful consideration. If you choose to distance yourself, do so with a clear understanding of your reasons and the potential impact on your life. Seek support from friends, a therapist, or support groups to navigate this challenging decision. A Personal Note Navigating family dynamics in a divisive political environment is challenging but not impossible. By setting boundaries, practicing active listening, and focusing on common ground, you can foster a more respectful and understanding family atmosphere. Remember, it’s okay to take breaks and seek support when needed. If you find yourself struggling with these dynamics, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional guidance. If you need help managing family tensions or want to explore these issues further, please reach out to schedule an appointment. We're here to support you in navigating these challenging conversations and maintaining healthy family relationships. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
Mindfulness is often associated with meditation, which can be off-putting for those who find traditional meditation practices challenging, boring, or uncomfortable. However, mindfulness isn't limited to sitting silently and focusing on your breath. There are numerous ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life without meditating. This guide explores practical and accessible mindfulness techniques for people who hate meditation. Understanding Mindfulness Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment with a non-judgmental attitude. It involves being aware of your thoughts, emotions, and sensations without getting caught up in them. The goal is to develop a deeper awareness of your experiences and to respond to them with greater clarity and calm. Why Traditional Meditation Isn't for Everyone Traditional meditation often involves sitting still, focusing on the breath, and quieting the mind. For many, this can be difficult and unappealing due to various reasons:
Fortunately, there are many ways to practice mindfulness without meditation. Here are some techniques to help you cultivate mindfulness in a way that suits your preferences and lifestyle: 1. Mindful Walking: Walking mindfully involves paying attention to the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your breath, and the sights and sounds around you. It’s about immersing yourself in the experience of walking, whether it's a stroll in the park or a walk around your neighborhood. 2. Mindful Eating: Mindful eating encourages you to savor each bite, notice the flavors, textures, and aromas of your food, and appreciate the experience of eating. This practice can help you develop a healthier relationship with food and enhance your enjoyment of meals. 3. Body Scan: A body scan involves lying down or sitting comfortably and paying attention to different parts of your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head. This practice helps you become aware of physical sensations and release tension. Author: Kelsey Cottingham, LMSW, Psychotherapist
In everyday conversations, you might hear someone casually say, "I'm so OCD," when referring to their habits of keeping things tidy or organized. But what does it really mean to have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and is it accurate or fair to use the term in this way? Let's explore the difference between having a preference for orderliness and living with a clinically diagnosed mental health condition. Misconceptions About OCD OCD is often misunderstood and misrepresented in popular culture. While many people might describe themselves as "a bit OCD" because they like things neat or have specific routines, true OCD is far more complex and challenging. The casual use of "OCD" in everyday language can minimize the struggles faced by those who live with this disorder. What is OCD? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health condition characterized by:
Example:
It's important to distinguish between having preferences or being meticulous and having OCD. Here are some key differences: 1. Voluntary vs. Involuntary:
When people casually say, "I'm so OCD," they inadvertently trivialize the experiences of those who struggle with this condition. This can contribute to stigma and misunderstanding, making it harder for individuals with OCD to seek help and be taken seriously. Seeking Help for OCD If you find that your thoughts and behaviors are causing you significant distress or interfering with your daily life, it might be time to seek professional help. Effective treatments for OCD include: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT):
A Personal Note As someone deeply committed to mental health awareness, I encourage you to be mindful of how we use terms like "OCD" in our everyday language. Understanding the true nature of OCD helps foster empathy and support for those affected by it. If you think you might have OCD, know that you are not alone, and help is available. Reach out to a mental health professional to explore your options and start your journey toward better mental health. For more information or to schedule an appointment, please contact our office. We are here to support you on your path to understanding and managing OCD. |
Categories
All
Archives
November 2024
|
|