<![CDATA[TAPROOT THERAPY NYC - Taproot Blog: Pscyhoeducation for Clients and Providers]]>Thu, 07 May 2026 14:55:40 -0400Weebly<![CDATA[Losing Ourselves in a Relationship: Understanding “Codependence”]]>Mon, 27 Apr 2026 17:16:31 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/losing-ourselves-in-a-relationship-understanding-codependenceBy Allison Torsiglieri, MPH, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

We strive to be supportive, reliable, and empathetic in our close relationships. For some of us, wanting to support those we care about can grow into a more extreme state of feeling responsible for them. When we start to feel that sense of responsibility, we may find ourselves in the territory of codependence. Codependence is characterized by a pattern of making others’ needs, emotions, and problems our priority—often leading us to neglect our own well-being. ​

A Note on Language: There is ongoing debate around and an evolution of how we use the term “codependence.” It is thus important that we use it with intentionality and explain what we intend it to mean when we do so. We want to be careful not to pathologize healthy human behaviors that are characteristic of being in a caring relationship. It is also crucial to be mindful of a relationship’s social and cultural context, asking ourselves: how is this relationship influenced by cultural or gender expectations around caregiving within a family? 

​Codependence as an Adaptation
Like many of our behaviors in relationships, codependence may have at one time felt like a necessary adaptation. If we grew up in homes that were unstable or unpredictable, like having a caregiver who was emotionally volatile, this may have taught us that to stay safe we needed to become adept at assessing and addressing the emotional needs of others. Becoming expert at anticipating others’ moods and needs gave us a sense of control and helped us feel safe amid uncertainty. In adulthood, even once we have exited those higher-stakes childhood environments, we may persist in an automatic state of relating to others as though we hold responsibility for their well-being, over our own. 

Repercussions of Codependence
While the part of us that seeks to care for others arguably has noble intentions, this constant self-subjugating pattern of relating comes at a significant cost. When we are in a codependent relationship, taking on someone else’s emotional labor can have negative repercussions:
  • We may fall out of touch with our own feelings. 
  • We may build resentment towards others, or feel like we are underappreciated—even if the reality is that we are being overly supportive without the other person having asked us to be.
  • We may experience physical and emotional symptoms of burnout.

Achieving Interdependence 
The goal of moving out of codependence and towards interdependence is not to entirely detach or isolate from others, but rather to achieve balanced, reciprocally caring and concerned relationships. This balance involves members of a relationship supporting each other, while also being in touch with their own needs, as well as their own identities and values. 

Ways to begin the shift:
  • Start by noticing the urge that arises for you, to fix someone else’s problem or improve their mood. Where do you feel this in your body? 
  • Before jumping in to take on the responsibility for someone else’s distress or someone else’s problem, pause and ask yourself: is this my burden to carry? 
  • Instead of jumping into problem-solving mode, explore alternative forms of support that honor the other person’s ability to solve their own problem. For example, approach their problem with curiosity, by asking them: “What are you planning to do next?” 

Using Self-Compassion to Reconnect with Our Own Needs
Shifting away from engaging in codependent behaviors and thinking is greatly facilitated by self-compassion, and practicing this over time. The goal is to learn that we are worthy and we are good enough even when we are not being overly helpful or selfless. This is a process of getting back in touch with our own feelings and needs and recognizing that these deserve our attention—and that we can stay safe even when we attend to ourselves. 

If you or someone you know struggles with losing their sense of self in close relationships, therapy can provide a safe space to disentangle what might be unhealthy in these patterns, and to reconnect with one’s independence.

​
​
References

Aslanian, A. (2026, March 6). Understanding codependent relationships. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/codependency-in-relationships/ 

Bacon, I., McKay, E., Reynolds, F., & Belton, S. (2020). The lived experience of codependency: An interpretative phenomenological analysis. International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, 18, 754–771. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11469-018-9983-8 

Mental Health America (MHA). (n.d.). Co-dependency. https://mhanational.org/resources/co-dependency/

Psychology Today. (n.d.). Codependency. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependency

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]]><![CDATA[A Quick Guide to Stimming]]>Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:10:08 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/a-quick-guide-to-stimmingBy: Zoe Chambers-Daniel, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

Self stimulatory behavior, also known as stimming, are repetitive movements that can help soothe ourselves when experiencing overwhelming emotions. Stimming can also increase focus, acting as a grounding tool to tune out distracting stimuli. Although stimming is associated with diagnoses such as ADHD and autism, it is something that all human beings do. If you have ever thought about stimming and what it can look like, this quick sensory guide is for you! There is no universal way to stim, and everyone engages in their senses differently. 

Vestibular Input 
- Roll neck and head slowly 
- Rock in a rocking chair 
- Tap toe, heel, or foot 
- Tap pencil/pen 

Tactile Input 
- Pet a furry animal 
- Twist your hair 
- Fidget with a necklace or ring 
- Trace skin with fingers

Visual Input 
- Watch oil and water toys 
- Watch waves lapping the shore 
- Watch a sunset/sunrise 
- Adjust lighting in your room 

Auditory Input 
- Listen to your favorite song on repeat 
- Sing/hum to yourself 
- Notice the sounds of a busy street 

Verbal/Oral Input 
- Chew gum 
- Drink a carbonated beverage 
- Take slow, deep breaths 
​
Stimming can be a part of our daily lives without being fully conscious of it. This list of stims is a way to intentionally engage in our senses. This is not an exhaustive list of possible stimming, as it creates a foundation for you to create your own unique toolbox of regulation and/or focus!]]><![CDATA[Understanding Perfectionism]]>Fri, 10 Apr 2026 13:00:00 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/understanding-perfectionismBy Allison Torsiglieri, MPH, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

Striving for perfection can be exhausting. What makes it even more so is the feeling that no matter what you achieve, there is always another “should”—another goal on the horizon. For some of us, perfectionism goes beyond ambition; it is a constant state of mind telling us that making mistakes is potentially dangerous. 

Perfectionism as Adaptation
Our perfectionism may have roots in childhood: a strategy we developed to make sense of and move through the world safely. As children our brains are shaped by our repeated experiences; if not making mistakes consistently leads to positive attention from adults—and mistakes lead to conflict or punishment—we learn to maintain “good” behavior as a way to survive. And when as children our environments felt unpredictable or our circumstances felt out of control, our own perfectionism may have felt like a way to achieve a sense of control and safety. 

Perfectionism as Self-Protection
By holding ourselves to high standards we may be trying to protect ourselves from the high standards of others. Maybe we figure that if we criticize ourselves first, others’ criticisms will hurt less. Or maybe we figure that by being critical of ourselves we can avoid mistakes entirely, thereby becoming immune to others’ critiques. Making mistakes can feel like a reflection of who we are—of our character. Perfectionism becomes tied to our identity, and to our sense of self-worth. To avoid being made to feel like we are not good enough, we endure anxiety and exhaustion from excessive self-criticism. 

Challenging Perfectionism
In reality, mistakes are a part of everyone’s experience. Often, mistakes can be indicators that we are challenging ourselves to grow. When we avoid these kinds of mistakes, we are holding ourselves back from growth. 

Instead of protecting us, perfectionism can weigh us down by increasing our sense of shame in ourselves. The first step to lightening this burden can be trying to understand our perfectionism and its roots. Start to pay attention to what perfectionism feels like in your body and in your mind—e.g., tightness in your chest, or a feeling of irritability. When we notice those feelings of perfectionism coming up as we fixate on a few sentences in an email or blame ourselves for something we forgot to buy at the store, we can pause and ask ourselves: what about making a mistake here feels dangerous to us? What are we trying to protect ourselves from? This curiosity can lead to a clearer sense of perfectionism’s roots in childhood, and to a clearer picture of whether we are really in danger when we make a mistake. 

Once you’ve practiced noticing perfectionism and developing that curiosity about its role and its roots, consider running an experiment: when you make a mistake, notice what happens next. The more times you can show yourself that mistakes do not translate to danger, the more you can start to train your brain to experience mistakes as safe—and even as a natural part of growth. 

Striving for Self-Acceptance
When we learn to accept ourselves even when we make mistakes, we can separate those mistakes from assessments of our worth. This journey—from relying on perfection to keep us safe, to finding safety within ourselves—takes time, patience, and support. Therapy can be a brave environment to slowly lower the shield of perfectionism, to explore vulnerability and pursue self-acceptance—self-acceptance as someone who cannot be perfect, but can keep themselves safe.

]]><![CDATA[Spring Somatic Awareness Exercise]]>Wed, 08 Apr 2026 15:04:08 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/spring-somatic-awareness-exerciseBy Cathy Wang, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

With melting snow and warmer temperatures we are finally starting to see the first signs of spring! It’s time to come out of our bundled up coats and scarves, bracing against the cold and wind and just like the snow, take this moment to melt some tension in your body with a somatic awareness exercise. 

Throughout this practice, if you notice your mind has drifted, simply notice that you’ve drifted and bring awareness back to your breath or feeling of relaxation in your body.

  1. Lie down on your back anywhere: your couch, bed, even the floor. Rest your arms next to your body.
  2. Focus on your breath, notice how each breath feels, the rise and fall of your chest.
  3. Notice if anything else has started to slow or relax in your body as you’ve been focusing on your breath. If you notice any sensations of relaxation or softening, take some time to live inside that sensation, imagine yourself curling up in it.
  4. Allow your body to melt into the surface you’re lying on. Continue to notice any contrasting sensations of both tension and relaxation. Should you notice any sensations of tension, say to yourself “It is safe to relax”
  5. Continue this for five to ten minutes and rest!

This is an exercise with no stakes, just a simple moment to yourself to just breathe, notice, and be. Once you finish, check in with your body, noticing any remaining tension as well as spots of relaxation. I hope this exercise was able to provide some reprieve in your day and can continue to help in the days ahead.

]]><![CDATA[Combating Revenge Bedtime Procrastination]]>Wed, 18 Mar 2026 14:56:14 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/combating-revenge-bedtime-procrastinationBy Zoe Chambers-Daniel, ​Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

The recommended amount of sleep for adults is 7 to 9 hours, and in a post COVID world where the boundaries between work and home are increasingly getting blurred, this suggestion can be challenging to maintain. Daily demands often leave very little time to experience simple pleasures such as reading, watching a comfort show, or talking to a friend. The time that would be used to get ready for bed becomes the only time we can identify to take back some control. After all the work we did, we can now scroll on our phones, or binge-watch the show we didn’t have time for. This phenomenon is known as Revenge Bedtime Procrastination (Kroese et al., 2014; Liang, 2022). Although there is a conscious effort to take back some control over our time, there are also adverse effects. When we replace much needed sleep with leisure activities on a regular basis, our cognitive abilities decline, our immune systems weaken, and we are more likely to experience irritability. These effects make it harder to show up at work and creates a cycle of exhaustion despite the valid need for autonomy (Kamphorst et al., 2018; Kroese et al., 2018). So, how can we combat Revenge Bedtime Procrastination without sacrificing that need for control in our daily schedules? Let’s review these crucial tips to start making a routine that works for us: 


Prioritize Consistency 
Remember the recommended amount of sleep for adults is 7 to 9 hours. You know yourself best so start thinking about where you exist on this range. You may even need 10 hours to have a truly productive day. Once you understand the amount of sleep you need to show up at your best,
line that up with the time you need to wake up each morning. This will be the time you aim to be in bed. Going to bed and waking up at the same time each morning creates consistency. Sounds simple right? Not always. Our environment can set us up for success or create more barriers to getting ready for bed. 


Practice Sleep Hygiene 
Now that you have identified the time you need to go to bed to wake up feeling refreshed, we need to figure out how to prepare for bed. Creating a boundary for yourself where your bed is just for sleeping is crucial. Work is done outside of the bed, even reading. Creating that simple association of bed being solely for sleep can make it easier to wind down once you get in. The 
sensory environment is also important in getting ready for bed. Keeping a cool quiet environment is generally best practice for inducing restful sleep. Remember, you know yourself best. Think of factors in your home that relax you and incorporate that into your routine. 


Incorporate Autonomy into Your Schedule 
When thinking about the contributing factors that lead people to experience Revenge Bedtime Procrastination, autonomy is the leading one. If you relate to this, you probably lead a busy life with little room for leisure activities. Reframing how we view control in our daily lives can help us combat this phenomenon. Finding wiggle room where you have 15 minutes to watch part of a show you love, getting a sweet treat from a cafe, or calling a loved one, can make a big difference in our day. So when we are off the clock, the need to get revenge is reduced.


Make Revenge Bedtime Procrastination Work For You 
There will be days when the need for control during bedtime is much too great and we succumb to the nighttime procrastination. That is completely alright. We can make this phenomenon work for us. Using the tips listed above, Revenge Bedtime Procrastination can be a once in a while occurrence instead of a daily one. We lead busy lives and oftentimes our work schedules can’t be changed. Extending grace to ourselves, and acknowledging that sleep is something we don’t have to deprive ourselves of to feel pleasure is the first step in combating Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.
​

References 
Kamphorst, B. A., Nauts, S., De Ridder, D. T. D., & Anderson, J. H. (2018). Too depleted to turn in: The relevance of end-of-the-day resource depletion for reducing bedtime procrastination. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 252. 
https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00252 
Kroese, F. M., Adriaanse, M. A., Evers, C., Anderson, J., & De Ridder, D. (2018). Commentary: Why don’t you go to bed on time? A daily diary study on the relationships between chronotype, self-control resources and the phenomenon of bedtime procrastination. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 915. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.00915 
Kroese, F. M., De Ridder, D. T. D., Evers, C., & Adriaanse, M. A. (2014). Bedtime procrastination: Introducing a new area of procrastination. Frontiers in Psychology, 5, 611. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00611 
Liang, L. (2022, February 25). The psychology behind “revenge bedtime procrastination.” https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20201123-the-psychology-behind-revenge-bedtime -procrastination]]><![CDATA[Quick Guide to Supporting Children in School: What Clinicians Should Know About IEPs, 504 Plans, and Advocacy]]>Mon, 02 Mar 2026 14:33:35 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/quick-guide-to-supporting-children-in-school-what-clinicians-should-know-about-ieps-504-plans-and-advocacyBy Margot Gaggini, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

As outpatient therapists, we often see children for one hour a week. Schools see them for six to eight hours a day. When a child is struggling emotionally, behaviorally, or academically, meaningful support almost always requires collaboration between clinical and educational systems. As someone who worked in an elementary school for three years before returning to graduate school, there were common misconceptions I heard from external therapists/providers I would talk to. 

Understanding how school-based services work allows clinicians to better advocate for clients and guide families through what can feel like an overwhelming process. Below are key things every child therapist should know when working with students and their schools.

1. The Difference Between an IEP and a 504 Plan
While both provide support in school settings, an Individualized Education Program (IEP) and a 504 Plan are legally distinct and offer different levels of intervention.
IEP (Individualized Education Program) - An IEP is governed by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). It is designed for students who qualify for special education services under one of 13 disability categories (e.g., emotional disability, specific learning disability, autism, other health impairment).
An IEP:
  • Includes specialized instruction (not just accommodations)
  • Has measurable annual goals
  • May provide related services (e.g., counseling, speech therapy, OT)
  • Is reviewed annually with a full reevaluation every three years
  • Can include placement in specialized classroom settings
IEPs are appropriate when a child’s disability impacts their ability to access the general education curriculum and requires targeted instruction.
504 Plan - A 504 Plan falls under Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act. It provides accommodations to ensure access to learning but does not include specialized instruction.
A 504 Plan:
  • Provides accommodations (extended time, preferential seating, breaks)
  • Does not require measurable goals
  • Typically serves students with medical or mental health conditions that interfere with learning but do not require special education instruction
Think of it this way:
  • IEP = instruction + services + goals
  • 504 = access + accommodations
As clinicians, recognizing which level of support may be appropriate helps us guide families in conversations with schools.


2. Special Education Classrooms Are Not One-Size-Fits-All
Many families fear that “special ed” means a separate school or significantly restricted setting. In reality, services exist along a continuum.
Common classroom models include:
  • General education with push-in support (special education teacher supports within the classroom)
  • Integrated co-teaching (ICT) classrooms (general and special education teachers share responsibility)
  • Self-contained classrooms (smaller class sizes, more intensive support)
  • Therapeutic or specialized programs (for students with significant emotional or behavioral needs)
Placement decisions are guided by the principle of the “least restrictive environment” (LRE), meaning students should remain in general education settings whenever appropriate and possible.
As therapists, it’s important to help families move away from stigma and toward understanding what environment best supports regulation, learning, and safety.


3. Parents Can Request an Evaluation At Any Time
One of the most important things clinicians can communicate to families: Parents have the right to request a formal evaluation in writing if they suspect their child has a disability.
This applies even if the child has never received school-based services, the school has not raised concerns, or the child is performing “okay” academically but struggling emotionally.
Once a written request is submitted, schools are legally required to respond within a specific timeline (which varies by state). The evaluation may include psychological testing, academic assessments, speech/language evaluations, classroom observations, and behavioral assessments.
Sometimes families don’t pursue evaluation because:
  • They fear labeling
  • They assume the school will suggest it if needed
  • They don’t know the process exists
Therapists can play a powerful role in educating parents about this right and helping them draft a request if appropriate.


4. Mental Health Impacts Educational Access
Children do not need a diagnosed learning disability to qualify for support. Emotional and behavioral conditions can significantly impact educational functioning.
Examples include:
  • Anxiety leading to school refusal
  • Depression affecting concentration and work completion
  • ADHD impairing executive functioning
  • Trauma contributing to dysregulation
  • Self-harm behaviors impacting safety planning at school
If mental health symptoms interfere with learning, participation, or attendance, school-based supports may be warranted.


5. Clinicians Can Participate in the School Process
Outpatient therapists are allowed, and often welcomed, to collaborate with schools when families provide consent.
Ways clinicians can support include writing brief clinical summaries.
A short report can:
  • Clarify diagnosis (if appropriate)
  • Explain how symptoms impact school functioning
  • Offer specific recommendations (e.g., movement breaks, check-ins, counseling support)
  • Support eligibility under IDEA or Section 504
These reports do not need to be lengthy. Concise, functional recommendations are often most helpful. Clinicians can also attend IEP or 504 Meetings with parental permission. If invited the therapists can join meetings virtually, provide clinical context, advocate for appropriate supports, and clarify misunderstandings about a child’s presentation.
When therapists attend, conversations often shift from “behavior management” to “regulation and support.”
For students with suicidality or self-harm, coordination between outpatient providers and school staff is critical. Clear communication can prevent fragmented safety plans and reduce risk.
​

6. Ethical Considerations
When collaborating with schools:
  • Obtain written consent.
  • Be mindful of scope (educational eligibility ≠ medical diagnosis).
  • Avoid making placement demands without educational data.
  • Document communications clearly.
Our role is to inform, contextualize, and advocate, not to determine eligibility ourselves. Children exist within systems. When we ignore school, we miss half the picture.
Understanding the differences between IEPs and 504 Plans, recognizing when evaluation may be warranted, and knowing that therapists can meaningfully participate in school meetings empowers clinicians to better serve their clients.
Effective child therapy does not stop at the office door. When we collaborate thoughtfully with schools, we help ensure children receive consistent, coordinated support, both in the therapy room and in the classroom.


]]><![CDATA[Understanding Retail Therapy]]>Mon, 23 Feb 2026 14:00:00 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/understanding-retail-therapyBy Allison Torsiglieri, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

For some of us, shopping is more than a way to get the things we need; it can also be a temporary mood-booster. And while “retail therapy” is not traditional therapy, it can take on the role of a coping skill, helping us regulate our emotions. Coping skills are useful when we cannot immediately process a difficult emotion, or when a difficult emotion feels overwhelming or distressing and we want to soften its intensity.

Shopping as coping can be helpful in moderation—and of course, when you need to buy something, you need to buy something! But becoming over-reliant on shopping as coping can have negative repercussions—including financial strain, which can in turn lead to stress and even familial conflict. 

When we shop as a way to cope with an unwanted emotion, we are delaying processing that emotion. But we ultimately do want to sit with and make sense of that emotion: what is it trying to tell us? When we overrely on shopping as a coping mechanism we also miss out on the opportunity to practice using other coping skills—including those without a price tag! 

What Happens When We Shop?

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that functions as part of our reward system: when we anticipate or engage in something we enjoy, a high amount of dopamine is released in the brain. Behaviors that release dopamine in the brain become behaviors we are motivated to seek out again. (Read more about dopamine in Zoe Chambers-Daniel’s blog post, Dopamine’s Role in Motivation.) 

Because dopamine is released when we expect something pleasurable to happen, shopping can feel exciting even before we make a purchase; “window shopping” in itself is a stimulating activity. Even when we make a purchase we are anticipating a reward: a delivery of a package containing a new pair of shoes, for example. 

But once the new item is in our possession and we no longer feel any anticipation, dopamine levels drop. For some of us, this is when “buyer’s remorse” or even shame might kick in: why did I spend money on something I don’t need, and that doesn’t make me happy? And when the dopamine spike subsides, the original “unpleasant emotion” that triggered our purchase is often still there, now accompanied by possible financial guilt. In this way, shopping serves to mask or postpone our emotion, but does not resolve it. 

Exploring Shopping Alternatives

If you’re looking to cut down on using shopping to cope with unpleasant emotions, consider these interventions:

1. Next time you feel the impulse to shop around or make a purchase, ask yourself what you were thinking about or feeling right before the impulse emerged. 
  • Maybe you are feeling socially excluded by your friends, and suddenly decide you need new home decor to impress people whenever they next come over for dinner. 
  • Maybe you are feeling worried about an upcoming presentation, and suddenly decide you need to buy a new blouse to wear that day. 
Sometimes, shopping serves as a distraction from unwanted feelings, but sometimes we may convince ourselves that it is a way to problem-solve: we would feel better or be better if we got that new item. In each of these situations, there is an emotional trigger that deserves our attention. Sometimes just attending to that emotion reduces the urge to shop.

2. Consider alternative coping strategies. It can be helpful to create a list for yourself of alternative mood-boosting activities you can reference and select from when an emotion arises that you might otherwise cope with using shopping. You might also consider exploring these alternatives with your therapist, who can draw from Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s approach to distress tolerance. 
3. Ask yourself: would I still want to buy this if I had to wait a few days to do so? Try pausing for 48 hours before making the purchase, and see if the urge is still there. 
4. Ask yourself how long this item will realistically serve you before it needs to be replaced or discarded. How much effort will you have to expend to find another home for it—e.g., selling it, donating it, or discarding it?
5. To lessen the financial strain of shopping as coping, consider keeping purchases to a very small dollar amount, or even sticking to window shopping; anticipation will still trigger the release in dopamine that serves as a temporary mood boost. 

Living in a society that values consumerism means that we are surrounded by reminders to shop: ads on podcasts, social media, websites, and even billboards. Sometimes it can feel like fighting an uphill battle when we are trying to overcome the urge to shop. Remember to give yourself grace, and to seek out support from your community, and your therapist. 


References

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, March 23). Dopamine: What it is, function & symptoms. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22581-dopamine
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, December 10). Why ‘retail therapy’ makes you feel happier. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/retail-therapy-shopping-compulsion
Brain Academy. (2025, August 11). The neuroscience of buying things you don’t need [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ZP7ZM6nH8

]]><![CDATA[7 Takeaways from 7 Years of Therapy]]>Fri, 20 Feb 2026 18:23:01 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/7-takeaways-from-7-years-of-therapyBy Cathy Wang, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

Hello dear reader! This blog will be exactly what it says on the tin — I started therapy in my sophomore year of high school and knew from there I wanted it as a part of my life. Now, pursuing therapy as a career, I’ve been reflecting on some of the most lasting takeaways (in no particular order) I learned from my own time in therapy that I bring into the work I do. So follow along and I hope you find something that sticks with you too!

1. Your best may not always be the best
This was one of my very first “aha” moments in therapy. Growing up in an immigrant household and attending an extremely competitive high school, I was frequently stricken with imposter syndrome and anxieties that I would never measure up to the markers of success that had long been ingrained in me—straight A’s, a perfect SAT score, and the Ivy League. High school was also, not-so-coincidentally, when I was confronted with the reality that even if I gave my all to something, it still may not end in “success” (aka a less than satisfactory SAT score). It was in a session with my therapist, talking through the immense disappointment I felt in myself (and that SAT score), that my therapist noted this glaring truth I had always managed to overlook. Constraints of time, energy, and effort would always get in the way of “perfection” and it was simply unsustainable to continue chasing after it. What truly mattered was giving it my all and understanding that simple fact made the end result of a test score superfluous. Of course, it would still feel good to achieve “the best” and of course it was still a marker to shoot for but if I didn’t quite get there, I could rest easier knowing I did the best I could even if it didn’t quite achieve the best.

2. There are no “good” and “bad” feelings
When I first started therapy, it was my belief that if I did it right and if I did it for long enough, I would reach some hypothetical enlightened me that was eternally at peace. She was calm and happy and content. She didn’t get angry or sad or frustrated, those feelings would simply blow over her. In my mind, that would be the complete me, the best version of me, and someone within reach. With this goal in mind, I began to avoid hard feelings, labeling them as purely negative, fearing they would overtake me and hinder my progress. In reality, this only made those hard feelings bigger and stickier. No longer was it a reasonable sadness or momentary anger, it was some hulking monster that threatened my progress. When I brought that distress into the room, I realized I was standing in the way of my own progress—not towards that hypothetical me that didn’t feel hard feelings but one that wasn’t bowled over by it. Hard feelings are essential. They tell us something, teach us something, and make those lighter feelings all the more bright. It was then that I stopped fearing those hard feelings and certainly stopped seeing them as bad or a sign that something was deeply wrong with me. Feelings are feelings, they make up a human life, and it’s a privilege to experience them.

3. Two things can be true at the same time
Holding two seemingly conflicting truths at the same time is something I’m still working on. It feels at odds with the natural way of the world and is something I feel most acutely when examining certain relationships in my life. Someone could have hurt me deeply and I could still desperately want to be in relationship with them and be vulnerable with them again even as my scared sensibilities tell me to protect myself. Trying to decide which side to be on, if I should be angry at them or forgive and forget, wasn’t working as both sides felt deeply true. Taking the time to honor both those feelings granted me a needed reprieve and I find solace in the simple fact that feelings and life are complicated. I am complicated and to try and shove myself on one side or another would be a disservice to myself.

4. Don’t “should” on yourself
This is a fairly new adage for me and one I learned from a mentor of mine that felt particularly pertinent to work I’ve been doing in therapy. It’s natural to develop expectations—of yourself, of others, of the future—but more often than not they lead to disappointment and judgement. I often think, “I should be studying instead of watching TV,” “I should have reacted differently,” “My parents should have treated me in this way” and it eats away at me and my time. I’m left judging myself and my situation instead of actually doing anything. This is something I’ve also noticed in clients of mine. Often, they will report distress which comes as a result of not measuring up to some imagined and desirable hypothetical they’ve come up with rather than noticing and honoring the very real circumstances they are dealing with. Practicing patience and kindness with themselves and with myself has been immeasurably fruitful.

5. Believing something takes practice and time
So much of my time in therapy has been rehashing the same essential problems and reaching the same conclusions. At first I found it frustrating: Why couldn’t I just get these things through my head? This lasted until a few psychology classes in undergrad and some kind words from my therapist made me realize I have been guided by certain thought patterns for a majority of my life, decades of believing certain truths. How could all those years of strengthening certain pathways in my brain, mental shortcuts that define my world, change in an instant? Changing means changing my brain, it means literally building new pathways and of course that takes time and practice! That doesn’t mean I don’t still get frustrated (that’s a pathway I’m still working on) but it helps to alleviate the frustration that comes with some “shoulds” that inevitably creep up as I continue therapy.

6. Vulnerability breeds vulnerability
I believe it’s true for a lot of people that it feels a whole lot safer to hold our feelings close to our chests and guard them, especially when entering into conflict. It feels like the smarter option to prepare a logical argument or deflect and point out what may be going on for the other person. As I work to rebuild a challenging relationship, I’ve found myself trying to steel myself for upcoming confrontation, prepare a tool-belt of rebuttals but at the behest of my therapist, I entered into a recent one with nothing but the truth of what I was feeling (and a little bit of emotional preparation in the form of affirmation). The conversation was better than any we’d ever had. Did it still hurt? Of course! But we were able to see each other. I may be particularly lucky with the people in my life but I’ve found that vulnerability without defenses or presumptions typically breeds more vulnerability. Without the shields and defenses up, people are able to truly see each other. To be willing to share my hurt feelings and center the truth of the matter, that we are two people who care for each other, has helped bridge so many gaps. In all areas of my life, I try to lead with my feelings, with honesty that doesn’t bite, and have found that it makes those around me feel safe enough to do the same and open themselves up.

7. Be kind to yourself
I had to end with this one. I think this was a very apparent through-line in all of my takeaways but I felt it still deserved to have a line of its own. Through everything, give yourself grace, kindness, patience, and love. You’re quite literally stuck with yourself for the rest of your life. If you can’t make your own heart and mind a safe space, who else can? Don’t do yourself a disservice by making the skin you’re living in hostile. Be kind to yourself, give yourself room to grow, and don’t waste your time judging yourself for those growing pains!


Well, that’s it! I hope you were able to find something here that you can take and plant in your own life.

]]><![CDATA[Dopamine’s Role in Motivation]]>Mon, 09 Feb 2026 14:00:00 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/ai-and-mental-health-emotional-support-decision-making5673142By Zoe Chambers-Daniel, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

Have you ever needed to complete a task and the motivation to start was nowhere to be found? Whether it be doing laundry, studying for an exam, or making an appointment over the phone, our ability to get things done can be understood in the context of the neurotransmitter dopamine. Dopamine, also known as the brain’s reward system, is released when we engage in activities that bring pleasure, which in turn reinforces us to continue engaging in that behavior. Dopamine is also released when we are anticipating that pleasure (Bromberg-Martin, 2010). For example, someone that knows that when they finish writing their final paper for the semester, they will have dinner at their favorite restaurant with their friends, gets a dopamine hit that acts as a motivator to complete a task that may not bring pleasure by itself. In thinking about dopamine’s role in motivation, it is important to note that tasks such as laundry can’t always be completed with a fancy dinner waiting at the finish line. What can we do to motivate ourselves and use dopamine to our advantage?
 
A dopamine menu is a possible solution to the person struggling to start tasks such as studying and household chores. A customizable tool to stimulate dopamine receptors, a dopamine menu is a list of activities that are organized using restaurant menu language to engage in during different times when you need a boost (McCabe, 2020). This is what you can expect from a dopamine menu:

Starters
Similar to appetizers at a restaurant, “starters” are activities that don’t take long but still give us a boost of energy, something that is crucial in finding the motivation to complete a task. Examples of starters include going on a short walk or listening to your favorite song.

Mains
“Mains” take a little longer. Think of activities that are enjoyable for you such as calling a loved one on the phone or watching an hour of television. Similar to an entree in a restaurant, this activity can be used when you need a little bit more time to build up the momentum to start a task.

Sides
“Sides” are activities that give you a dopamine boost while you are completing your task. An example of this is listening to a curated playlist while you are cleaning your bedroom. Sides accompany you while you are doing something that may not bring enjoyment on its own.

Desserts
“Desserts” are dopamine boosting activities that are done in moderation such as scrolling on social media, or actually getting a sweet treat. This aspect of the menu can be used as a motivator after the task you set out to do is complete.

Specials 
“Specials” are the big celebrations like going out to your favorite restaurant at the end of a long semester or going on vacation. With specials you play the long game and it can serve as a motivating factor for longer periods of time.

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A dopamine menu is an accessible tool to use when you are lacking motivation. Because you can make it your own, incorporating activities into your schedule is easier because you choose what goes in each section. This creative way of stimulating our brains to get tasks done also affects our attitudes toward our own levels of competency. Knowing that we can complete tasks that we may be dreading increases our self determination (Morsink, 2021). However you decide to customize your dopamine menu, know that you have autonomy over what gets you motivated to complete tasks. Embrace the creativity that comes with making your menu. It is not a one-size-fits-all approach. 





References
Bromberg-Martin, E. S., Matsumoto, M., & Hikosaka, O. (2010). Dopamine in motivational control: rewarding, aversive, and alerting. Neuron, 68(5), 815–834. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neuron.2010.11.022
McCabe, J. (2020, May 26). How to give your brain the stimulation it needs [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6WCkTwW6xg
Morsink, S., Van Der Oord, S., Antrop, I., Danckaerts, M., & Scheres, A. (2021). Studying Motivation in ADHD: The role of internal motives and the relevance of Self Determination Theory. Journal of Attention Disorders, 26(8), 1139–1158. https://doi.org/10.1177/10870547211050948

]]><![CDATA[The Winter Slump: A Clinical Perspective on Seasonal Emotional Fatigue]]>Mon, 02 Feb 2026 18:18:46 GMThttps://www.taproottherapynyc.com/taproot-blog-pscyhoeducation-for-clients-and-providers/the-winter-slump-a-clinical-perspective-on-seasonal-emotional-fatigueBy Margot Gaggini, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

By late winter, many clients present with increased fatigue, irritability, reduced motivation, emotional blunting, or a vague sense of dissatisfaction. While these symptoms may resemble depression, they often reflect a seasonal “winter slump”, a pattern of emotional and behavioral change shaped by environmental, biological, and psychosocial factors. These presentations are common, yet frequently minimized, particularly when clients remain high functioning in their daily lives.
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Biological and Circadian Influences
Reduced exposure to daylight during winter months disrupts circadian rhythms, affecting sleep-wake cycles, energy regulation, and mood. Seasonal changes in light exposure have been linked to alterations in serotonin turnover and melatonin secretion, both of which play a role in affect regulation and emotional resilience (Lambert et al., 2002). Even in the absence of Seasonal Affective Disorder, circadian misalignment can contribute to low mood, cognitive fatigue, and emotional flattening.

Behavioral Constriction and Loss of Reinforcement
Winter is also associated with decreased physical activity, reduced social engagement, and fewer opportunities for pleasurable or meaningful experiences. From a behavioral activation framework, this reinforcement can contribute to mood decline and increased withdrawal, even when cognitive distortions or acute stressors are not prominent (Martell et al., 2010).

Psychosocial and Emotional Amplification
As external structure and novelty decrease, underlying stressors such as occupational burnout, caregiving strain, relational tension, or unresolved grief often become more salient. Clients may report increased rumination, self-criticism, or a sense of stagnation rather than overt sadness. Many express confusion or shame about their emotional state, particularly those who identify as high-achieving or self-reliant.

Differential Considerations
Clinically, it is important to differentiate the winter slump from major depressive disorder, Seasonal Affective Disorder, adjustment disorders, or burnout. While symptom overlap exists, the winter slump often lacks pervasive anhedonia, hopelessness, or significant functional impairment. Nonetheless, research suggests that subthreshold seasonal symptoms are associated with meaningful distress and reduced quality of life and warrant clinical attention.

Therapeutic Interventions and Clinical Focus
Evidence-based interventions that are particularly effective during winter months include:
  • Behavioral activation, with an emphasis on low-effort, values-consistent activities rather than mood-contingent behavior (Martell et al., 2010)
  • Light exposure interventions, including morning bright light therapy, which has demonstrated efficacy for seasonal mood symptoms even outside of full SAD presentations (Golden et al., 2005)
  • Sleep and routine stabilization to support circadian regulation and reduce emotional volatility (Harvey et al., 2011)
  • Mindfulness-based approaches to reduce rumination and increase emotional awareness without over-identification 
  • Self-compassion interventions, particularly for clients prone to self-criticism, which are associated with lower depressive symptoms and increased resilience (Neff & Germer, 2013)

Therapeutically, the goal is often not rapid symptom resolution, but rather supporting adaptive pacing, emotional attunement, and sustainable coping. Normalizing seasonal vulnerability while maintaining clinical curiosity allows clients to engage with this period without pathologizing themselves or feeling pressured to “push through.”

Takeaway
The winter slump reflects an interaction between biological rhythms, environmental constraints, and psychosocial stress. Addressing these experiences with contextualized, rhythm-aware, and compassionate care can be both stabilizing and clinically productive.

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References 
  • Golden, R. N., et al. (2005). The efficacy of light therapy in the treatment of mood disorders. American Journal of Psychiatry, 162(4), 656–662.
  • Harvey, A. G., et al. (2011). Sleep disturbance and psychiatric disorders. The Lancet, 378(9800), 145–156.
  • Kasper, S., et al. (1989). Seasonal affective disorder: An overview. Psychiatric Annals, 19(3), 135–143.
  • Lambert, G. W., et al. (2002). Effect of sunlight and season on serotonin turnover in the brain. The Lancet, 360(9348), 1840–1842.
  • Martell, C. R., Dimidjian, S., & Herman-Dunn, R. (2010). Behavioral Activation for Depression. Guilford Press.
  • Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study of a mindful self-compassion program. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 69(1), 28–44.
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