Understanding Retail Therapy

By Allison Torsiglieri, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

For some of us, shopping is more than a way to get the things we need; it can also be a temporary mood-booster. And while “retail therapy” is not traditional therapy, it can take on the role of a coping skill, helping us regulate our emotions. Coping skills are useful when we cannot immediately process a difficult emotion, or when a difficult emotion feels overwhelming or distressing and we want to soften its intensity.

Shopping as coping can be helpful in moderation—and of course, when you need to buy something, you need to buy something! But becoming over-reliant on shopping as coping can have negative repercussions—including financial strain, which can in turn lead to stress and even familial conflict. 

When we shop as a way to cope with an unwanted emotion, we are delaying processing that emotion. But we ultimately do want to sit with and make sense of that emotion: what is it trying to tell us? When we overrely on shopping as a coping mechanism we also miss out on the opportunity to practice using other coping skills—including those without a price tag! 

What Happens When We Shop?

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that functions as part of our reward system: when we anticipate or engage in something we enjoy, a high amount of dopamine is released in the brain. Behaviors that release dopamine in the brain become behaviors we are motivated to seek out again. (Read more about dopamine in Zoe Chambers-Daniel’s blog post, Dopamine’s Role in Motivation.) 

Because dopamine is released when we expect something pleasurable to happen, shopping can feel exciting even before we make a purchase; “window shopping” in itself is a stimulating activity. Even when we make a purchase we are anticipating a reward: a delivery of a package containing a new pair of shoes, for example. 

But once the new item is in our possession and we no longer feel any anticipation, dopamine levels drop. For some of us, this is when “buyer’s remorse” or even shame might kick in: why did I spend money on something I don’t need, and that doesn’t make me happy? And when the dopamine spike subsides, the original “unpleasant emotion” that triggered our purchase is often still there, now accompanied by possible financial guilt. In this way, shopping serves to mask or postpone our emotion, but does not resolve it. 

Exploring Shopping Alternatives

If you’re looking to cut down on using shopping to cope with unpleasant emotions, consider these interventions:

1. Next time you feel the impulse to shop around or make a purchase, ask yourself what you were thinking about or feeling right before the impulse emerged. 

• Maybe you are feeling socially excluded by your friends, and suddenly decide you need new home decor to impress people whenever they next come over for dinner. 
  
• Maybe you are feeling worried about an upcoming presentation, and suddenly decide you need to buy a new blouse to wear that day. 
  

Sometimes, shopping serves as a distraction from unwanted feelings, but sometimes we may convince ourselves that it is a way to problem-solve: we would feel better or be better if we got that new item. In each of these situations, there is an emotional trigger that deserves our attention. Sometimes just attending to that emotion reduces the urge to shop.

2. Consider alternative coping strategies. It can be helpful to create a list for yourself of alternative mood-boosting activities you can reference and select from when an emotion arises that you might otherwise cope with using shopping. You might also consider exploring these alternatives with your therapist, who can draw from Dialectical Behavior Therapy’s approach to distress tolerance. 
3. Ask yourself: would I still want to buy this if I had to wait a few days to do so? Try pausing for 48 hours before making the purchase, and see if the urge is still there. 
4. Ask yourself how long this item will realistically serve you before it needs to be replaced or discarded. How much effort will you have to expend to find another home for it—e.g., selling it, donating it, or discarding it?
5. To lessen the financial strain of shopping as coping, consider keeping purchases to a very small dollar amount, or even sticking to window shopping; anticipation will still trigger the release in dopamine that serves as a temporary mood boost. 

Living in a society that values consumerism means that we are surrounded by reminders to shop: ads on podcasts, social media, websites, and even billboards. Sometimes it can feel like fighting an uphill battle when we are trying to overcome the urge to shop. Remember to give yourself grace, and to seek out support from your community, and your therapist. 


References

Cleveland Clinic. (2022, March 23). Dopamine: What it is, function & symptoms. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22581-dopamine
Cleveland Clinic. (2024, December 10). Why ‘retail therapy’ makes you feel happier. https://health.clevelandclinic.org/retail-therapy-shopping-compulsion
Brain Academy. (2025, August 11). The neuroscience of buying things you don’t need [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8ZP7ZM6nH8