Tips to care for a child with ADHD

By Lulu Lyle, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

Having ADHD doesn’t excuse “bad behaviors,” however it can explain why some children struggle with them. Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, also known as ADHD, can lead to a myriad of ongoing problems related to having a hard time balancing attention, being hyperactive and impulsivity. Oftentimes, children with ADHD also have low self esteem, difficulty in relationships, and poor performance in school. While ADHD is a complex disorder with many facets, there are three general types of ADHD: predominantly inattentive, hyperactive and impulsive, and combined. 

• Predominately inattentive: Most symptoms fall under inattention. This means having trouble focusing and staying on a task. It also includes trouble getting and staying organized.
• Predominately hyperactive and impulsive: Most symptoms involve being hyperactive and impulsive. Hyperactive means being too active and having too much energy, which may lead to disruptive behavior. Being impulsive means acting without thinking ahead about the consequences of those actions.
• Combined: A mix of inattentive, hyperactive, and impulsive symptoms. The person meets the criteria for both predominately inattentive and predominately hyperactive and impulsive types of ADHD. (Mayo Clinic, 2025)

It is important to understand which type of ADHD your child has in order to help manage their symptoms most effectively. While ADHD can contribute to undesirable behavior, here are some ways in which caregivers can help their child stay on task, follow the rules, and improve behavior overall. 


     1. Create a Structured Environment:

Organize the environment: Establish designated areas for homework, reading, and relaxation to minimize distractions. 

Use visual aids: Checklists, visual timetables, and sticky notes can help with organization and task completion, as many people with ADHD respond better to visual cues than to auditory ones. For example, having a morning routine checklist on the fridge to be filled out every morning.

Establish routines: Plan the day with clear expectations and predictable rituals for meals, homework, and bedtime. Even further, set alarms to signal your child to move on to the next task during the morning or nighttime routine.

​
     2. Break Down Tasks and Set Expectations: 

Divide tasks: Large tasks can be overwhelming. Break them into smaller, more manageable steps, which we sometimes call “chunking.” For example, instead of “clean your room,” it can be more manageable to focus on one area at a time, like “clear off your desk.” Another example of this is making the bed, which may seem simple, but when you break it down, there are many steps involved! 1. Strip the bed 2. Take fresh sheets out of the closet 3. Put the fitted sheet on the bed 4. Put the top sheet on the bed 5. Put the blanket on the bed 6. Add any pillows or stuffies to the bed. Focusing on one task at a time can be helpful for those struggling with executive dysfunction. 

Be clear and consistent: Children with ADHD need clear, consistent expectations and directions. Example: In a two parent household or when coparenting, make sure both parents on the same page about discipline (i.e. how many warnings are given, reward systems, etc) 

Set limits and consequences: Implement an effective discipline system that teaches appropriate behavior and follows through with consequences. 

More on consequences: If taking away a privilege is not working, you could try a “reward” system for a positive change in behavior. This could be in the form of verbal praise, privileges, or small gifts. Additionally, lean into the lesson of natural consequences; if your child is not in a dangerous situation, it may be worthwhile to explore the natural consequences of their actions. You may find that they might have a greater impact than consequences that came from you. For example, if you ask your child to pack their favorite snack for the next day multiple times, but they do not listen to your instructions, then they will not be able to enjoy that food at lunch time. 


   3. Manage Triggers and Emotional Regulation: 

Identify triggers: Look for signs of frustration or overstimulation. A way to do this is by keeping a journal log to note places or situations when symptoms seem to be heightened. This log should include lifestyle factors like sleep, nutrition, and technology use, as well as emotional triggers like relationship conflicts, criticism, or perception of failure. 

Teach them coping mechanisms: One example of a coping mechanism is to find other outlets to get the energy out. Your child might respond to signing up for extracurricular activities like sports or clubs that involve outdoor activities. Additionally, you can help your child learn stress management techniques like deep breathing exercises. 

Communicate openly: Talk with your child about their feelings and experiences to foster a sense of understanding and support. Explain why you’re frustrated and ask what is challenging or difficult for them as well. Remember that your child often hears how you communicate about their ADHD to others, so be mindful of the language you are using. It is important to acknowledge your child’s strengths and successes to help foster a positive self image. 

​
If you feel you or your child would benefit from the support of a therapist to help manage their ADHD, don’t hesitate to reach out to [email protected] for a consultation!