DBT Skills Everyone Can Use

By Emma Shelton, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by daily stressors, had trouble managing interpersonal relationships, or struggled to regulate your emotions? If so, DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) might offer some helpful skills for you. 

While DBT was originally developed for specific mental health diagnoses, its emphasis on building practical coping skills means it can be helpful in a myriad of situations. And, you don't have to be in DBT therapy to benefit from these skills, as they're designed to help anyone respond to life's challenges more effectively.

DBT is a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that combines acceptance and change, two seemingly conflicting ideas. Instead of trying to eliminate difficult emotions and behaviors, DBT teaches us to acknowledge them and validate that these are reasonable responses to the stress we are going through. At the same time, DBT encourages us to recognize that these feelings and behaviors do not define us or have to last forever. We can acknowledge them while choosing behaviors that align with our values and long-term goals.

DBT is built around four main skill areas that help people better manage emotions, cope with stress, and improve relationships. These are:

1. Mindfulness
2. Distress tolerance
3. Emotional regulation 
4. Interpersonal effectiveness

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1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness has become pretty popular over the years, but at its core, it means being fully present in the moment without judgment. This is important not only because it is the foundation for the other DBT skills, but also because it increases your awareness of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in the moment. 

There are a few ways we can practice this. 

One way might be simply doing one thing at a time. When you’re eating dinner, instead of watching TV, planning out the rest of your night, and scrolling on your phone, put the distractions away and focus solely on your meal. 

Another way could be a five-senses grounding exercise. When your anxiety is activated, you may be thinking about the past (I shouldn't have done that) or the future (this is going to ruin everything). Take a moment and: 

• Pause.
• Notice five things you can see.
• Notice four things you can feel.
• Notice three things you can hear.
• Take one slow breath.

This simple exercise can help interrupt anxious or racing thoughts and reconnect you with the present moment.

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2. Distress Tolerance 

Distress tolerance, at its core, is about skills for getting through difficult moments without making them worse. This helps us reduce impulsive reactions during emotional crises and become more comfortable sitting in distress. It also builds resilience by allowing us to tolerate situations that cannot be changed immediately. 

One way to practice this is the TIPP method, which is a set of techniques that can help shift your physical body out of fight-or-flight mode. It stands for Temperature, Intense exercise, Paced breathing, and Progressive muscle relaxation

• Temperature: Changing your body temperature can reset your system and slow your heart rate. Try dunking your head in a bowl of cold water or placing a cool washcloth over your eyes. 

 

• Intense exercise: Letting out some energy helps lower stress hormones and increase endorphins. Try doing jumping jacks or dancing to your favorite song for 10 minutes. 

 

• Paced breathing: Regulating your breathing tells the body that you’re safe, and moves you out of the fight-or-flight stress response. Try to breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds and out through your mouth for 6 seconds. Do this for a few minutes. 

 

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Releasing physical tension from your body helps alleviate your stress response. Try focusing on one part of your body (say, your shoulders). Tense the muscles as hard as you can for 5-10 seconds, and then let all of the tension out. You can do this with every part of your body. 

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3. Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is about learning to understand, manage, and respond to your emotions. While we can learn a lot from the emotions we feel in situations, we don’t have to let them dictate our behavior. 

One way we help decrease our emotional vulnerability is by taking care of ourselves. The PLEASE acronym details how we do this: 

• PL- treat Physical iLLness
• E- Eat balanced meals
• A- Avoid mood-altering substances
• S- Sleep
• E- Exercise, or just move your body 

When our physical health is struggling, we're more likely to experience intense emotions or have difficulty coping with stress. By taking care of these basic needs, we create a stronger foundation for managing emotions.

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4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

Interpersonal effectiveness is about communicating clearly, navigating interpersonal relationships, and maintaining your boundaries and self-respect. This can help improve your communication in relationships and increase confidence in expressing your own needs. 

One way to practice this is the FAST method for maintaining self-respect in relationships. 

• F- be Fair to yourself and stick to your boundaries
• A- Apologize when necessary, but not overly so! You don’t need to apologize for existing or having opinions. 
• S- Stick to your values
• T- be Truthful

This frame for interpersonal interaction can help you to engage in communication without sacrificing yourself. 

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The good news is you don't need to be an expert to engage in DBT skills. You can practice these skills whenever you want, in response to whatever stressors come up. However, if you are interested in learning more or engaging in more structured DBT sessions, we are hosting a virtual DBT skills group starting July 15, 2026. 


References 
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. 
Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT skills training handouts and worksheets (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. American Psychological Association.
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