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Author: Lexi Campbell, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Many kinds of people alter their behaviors to meet expected social, cultural, or situational norms. While neurotypical individuals may not have to actively think about their behaviors to satisfy social norms, neurodiverse individuals often feel pressure to conform and meet social expectations (Pearson & Rose, 2021; Stanich, 2024). The term masking refers to the act of concealing neurodivergent behavior in favor of neurotypical alternatives for social interaction, behavior, and sensory experience, in order to socially conform and evade detection as neurodiverse (Pearson & Rose, 2021). Many neurodiverse individuals, particularly those living with Autism Spectrum Disorder, feel masking is necessary to avoid exclusion and discrimination, and to ensure safety (Stanich, 2024). Masking techniques can vary depending on the individual, but examples include forcing oneself to make and maintain eye contact, suppressing reactions to disruptive sensory stimuli, rehearsing scripts of responses before a conversation, imitating how neurotypical individuals talk and interact with others, forcing oneself to engage in small talk despite being uninterested or exhausted, and monitoring personal behavior through an internal dialogue (Stanich, 2024). Research indicates that masking is heavily influenced by environment and context: race, ethnicity, gender, sexuality, disability status, immigration status, and other intersections of identity impact when and why masking occurs and how masking is used by a neurodiverse individual (Pearson & Rose, 2021). While masking minimizes the risk of discrimination and often prevents social stigma, it often comes at a cost to the masked individual. Long-term masking has been connected to mental health challenges including burnout, anxiety, depression, substance use, and a loss of sense of self (Pearson & Rose, 2021; Stanich, 2024). Unmasking is the process in which a neurodiverse person stops trying to act neurotypical and instead works towards embracing their authentic self (Stanich, 2024). Unmasking might look like finding quiet when experiencing intense sensory stimuli, taking alone time to recharge as needed, not forcing eye contact, connecting with the neurodiverse community, indulging in spaces that support one’s special interests, and embracing one’s unique neurodiverse traits with compassion and without negative judgment (Stanich, 2024). It is important to note that unmasking should be done with safety in mind— neurodiverse BIPOC, neurodiverse LGBTQIA+, and neurodiverse individuals with multiple intersecting identities face additional barriers due to pervasive, institutional discrimination, and may need to take precautions to ensure their safety in certain contexts given their marginalized status in a variety of environments. The process of unmasking is different for each neurodiverse individual. For many, safely unmasking is a key step in living life with self-determination and authenticity. Wherever one is in their journey, the support of an affirming mental health professional and neurodiverse peer support groups can be immensely supportive and impactful. Taproot Therapy has several clinicians with experience supporting the neurodiverse community. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, should you or someone you care about wish to explore their neurodiverse authentic self. References Cleveland Clinic. (2024). Neurodivergent. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23154-neurodivergent Stanich, A. (2024). All the World’s a (Neurotypical) Stage: Neurodivergent Folklore, Autistic Masking, and Virtual Spaces for Discussing Autistic Identity. Journal of American Folklore, 137(545): 293-307. https://doi.org/10.5406/15351882.137.545.02 Pearson, A. & Rose, K. (2021). A Conceptual Analysis of Autistic Masking: Understanding the Narrative of Stigma and the Illusion of Choice. Autism in Adulthood, 3(1): 52-60. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0043 Author: Lexi Campbell, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Self-compassion is the act of directing the same kindness that you might be inclined to show a friend who is struggling, back towards yourself (Neff, 2015). It is actively supporting you when you are feeling inadequate, experiencing a challenge, or recovering from making a mistake. Rather than criticize your shortcomings, self-compassion urges you to identify the pain you are experiencing and ask yourself: what is the best way I can comfort and care for myself right now? Self-compassion is an impactful tool to address our suffering because it helps us to identify our unique needs, feel less alone, and soothe ourselves in challenging moments. There are three key elements of self-compassion: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness (Neff, 2015). First, self-compassion begins with expressing kindness to ourselves. Rather than judge or blame ourselves for our suffering, we instead try to be gentle, patient, encouraging, and supportive—much like a good friend or mentor might be (Neff, 2015). This helps us to feel safe and cope more effectively with challenges. Second, self-compassion is rooted in a sense of common humanity (Neff, 2015). It is a reminder that all humans experience suffering— which may differ greatly in type and amount— but that being human is the experience of vulnerability, imperfection, challenge, and at times, failure. When we are self-compassionate, we remind ourselves that we are not alone. Third, self-compassion encourages a thoughtful approach to coping with challenges (Neff, 2015). Mindfulness helps us to observe our struggle without judging it as bad or good, and instead consider the situation from alternative perspectives. It helps us identify less with the negativity of our suffering and more with compassion in how we might treat a friend in a similar situation (Neff, 2015). If you are interested in exploring the concept of self-compassion more, follow the guided exercise below: How would you treat a friend?
References Neff, K. (2015). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow Paperbacks. Author: Nora Carnevale, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Throughout life, change is a constant. However, when it comes to making a specific change in our lives, we often experience feelings of ambivalence. Experiencing ambivalence in the face of change is normal, since there is safety and security in maintaining our own status quo. Motivational interviewing (MI) is an evidence-based, person-centered method for bringing about change (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). “Motivation” refers to what helps inspire someone to action, and “interviewing” refers to the fact that one person is guiding the interaction (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). While potential changes can take many forms, some examples relate to pursuing new career paths, setting boundaries, finding healthy coping mechanisms, and navigating interpersonal relationships. Through use of MI skills, a clinician can begin to understand what truly moves someone to take the first steps on a new path. The concept of motivational interviewing grew out of close observations and reflections on clinical interactions. Initially used to help individuals recovering from alcohol use disorder, it has since grown into a broadly applicable practice and accompanies a variety of therapeutic modalities. Globally, MI has been widely studied and there are more than 2,000 controlled clinical trials involving its use (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). As further evidence of its applicability, MI is used across a broad range of professions that offer health and education services to individuals and communities. MI acknowledges that change is a process that unfolds over time, and often through interpersonal exchanges. The “MI Spirit” that practitioners draw from consists of partnership, acceptance, compassion, and empowerment. Partnership between a clinician and client refers to viewing the process of therapy as a collaboration, with both individuals working toward the goals that a client identifies for themselves. Therapists meet clients where they are without judgment and with full acceptance, recognizing that motivation for change typically does not arise from feeling shame or worthlessness, but from being fully accepted (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). In addition, compassion comes into play as an intent to give top priority to the health and well-being of the individual seeking help. Finally, empowerment is a result of recognizing that clients already have what they need to change, and a therapist using MI is simply helping them to find it. This spirit is reflected in the way therapists engage with clients about change and growth in order to strengthen motivation and commitment. According to Miller and Rollnick (2023), “when people learn about MI, they often seem to recognize it as if they were being reminded of something they already knew about being human.” Through this proven tool, it is possible to cultivate hope and optimism regarding our ability to change. References Miller, W.R. & Rollnick, S. (2023). Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change and Grow (4th ed). The Guilford Press. Author: Lexi Campbell, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
In our modern lives, we often find ourselves in motion. We fill our days with movement: we email, we scroll, we worry, we text, we ruminate, we react— we do our best to keep up with a fast-paced world. What would it be like to consciously pause in the face of this constant activity? What would it look like to intentionally slow our mental workload from rushing around our mind, and instead stop for a minute or two, and simply observe what we are feeling? Pausing is a momentary suspension of activity: a temporary disengagement from the act of doing something (Brach, 2003). Pausing can last several minutes or more, and after a pre- determined amount of time, we return to our activities. As we practice pausing, we stop what we’re doing and we try to be completely present with our inner experience at that moment in time (Brach, 2003). We take deep breaths, notice the sensations in our bodies, and name our feelings without judgment. Please know that there are times when pausing is not appropriate. If our life or someone else’s life is in danger we don’t pause— we instead work towards safety. But when danger to ourselves or others is not a threat, practicing pausing can be a powerful way to find calm, as well as a key tool to reach for when we feel anxious, overstimulated, disconnected, or even when we are struggling in a disagreement with a friend or loved one (Brach, 2003). If you are interested in trying out a ‘pause,’ please follow the guided prompt below. Choose a time that you are engaged in an activity (such as reading, emailing, cleaning, texting, scrolling social media, eating, etc.) and explore pausing for a minute or more. Begin by stopping the activity you are currently doing, sitting comfortably in a chair or on the ground, and if it feels safe to do so, closing your eyes. Take four to five deep breaths. With each exhale, start to notice: what does my body feel like right now? What sensations are coming up as I breathe in and then exhale out? Some of us might notice the grounding feeling of having our feet firmly on the floor. Others might notice a tension in their shoulders. Perhaps some of us notice our muscles relax more with each deep breath. Then ask yourself, what feelings do I notice right now? For some of us, pausing might feel difficult and we notice that we’re feeling restless. Perhaps we feel a desire to return to our activity. Some of us may experience a deep sense of peace in pausing. Do your best to name each feeling as it comes up, without any judgment as to whether it’s good or bad. Continue to breathe deeply and observe the sensations in your body and your inner feelings. Then, when you feel ready, open your eyes, end the pause, and return to your activity. But as you return, ask yourself: do I notice any changes within myself after pausing? The practice of pausing might feel at odds with the busyness of day-to-day life. However, even small and brief acts of pausing can foster deeper connections with our feelings and our experiences, as well as offer refuge in an increasingly busy world. References Brach, T. (2003). Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha. Bantam Books. |
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