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By Kate (Katie) Pargament, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Starting therapy can feel vulnerable. Starting therapy with a group of people can feel even more intimidating. You might wonder, What if I don't know what to say? What if no one understands me? But being around others is also what can make group therapy so powerful. Group therapy brings together a small number of people with one or more trained mental health professionals. Some groups focus on specific concerns or teach practical skills, while others focus on relationships, patterns, and personal growth. Realizing You're Not Alone One of the most meaningful parts of group therapy is realizing that experiences you thought were unique to you may actually be shared by others. Hearing someone put words to something you've experienced can help reduce feelings of isolation. Group members can also offer different perspectives, support, and ways of approaching challenges that you may not have considered before. According to the American Psychological Association, group therapy can provide a valuable support network while helping people recognize that they are not alone in what they're experiencing. Practicing Change in Real Time Many of the things we work on in therapy show up in our relationships. Maybe you struggle to say no, worry about disappointing people, avoid conflict, or have difficulty expressing what you need. In individual therapy, you can talk about these patterns. In group therapy, you may actually notice them happening. This creates an opportunity to try something different in a supportive environment. You might practice expressing an opinion, setting a boundary, asking for support, communicating a need, or allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Group therapy isn't simply a replacement for individual therapy. Research has found it can be an effective form of treatment for a wide range of mental health concerns, and some people choose to participate in both individual and group therapy. Group Therapy at Taproot Therapy NYC Relational Process Group for People Pleasers Taproot Therapy is offering a virtual Relational Process Group for People Pleasers beginning in September, meeting Thursdays from 6:00–7:30 PM. Participants will explore patterns around putting others first, difficulty expressing their needs, setting boundaries, and worrying about disappointing others. Drawing from ACT, existential, attachment, and systems approaches, the group will focus on building greater self-worth, values-based living, and healthier relationships. The cost is $70 per session, and the group accepts most major insurances. For questions or to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to see if the group may be right for you, contact [email protected]. 12-Week DBT Skills Group Taproot Therapy is also offering a 12-week DBT Skills Group for adults (18+) beginning in October, meeting Wednesdays from 5:00–6:30 PM. Participants will learn practical skills in mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. The group is designed for those experiencing anxiety, feeling overwhelmed by emotions, struggling with boundaries or self-care, or wanting to strengthen their coping and relationship skills. The cost is $700 for the full 12-week program, and the group is in-network with Cigna. For questions or to register, contact [email protected]. You Don't Have to Figure It Out Alone Group therapy offers something unique: the opportunity to learn about yourself while connecting with and learning from others. Sometimes growth happens through being heard, sometimes through hearing someone else, and sometimes through realizing you aren't as alone in your experiences as you thought. Source American Psychological Association. (2019). Psychotherapy: Understanding group therapy. By Natasha Stein, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
It's that time of year again! Stores fill with school supplies, calendars start filling up, and families begin preparing for another school year. For some, the return to school feels exciting: a fresh start, a new routine, or the opportunity to reconnect with friends. For others, it can bring something less welcome: anxiety. When we talk about back-to-school anxiety, we often focus on students. We think about the child who is nervous about starting a new grade, the teenager worried about making friends, or the college student wondering what the new semester will bring. But anxiety surrounding the return to school isn't limited to students. Parents can experience it too, as can college and graduate students, teachers, and anyone whose daily routine is affected by the academic calendar. At its core, back-to-school anxiety is often about transition. Why Can Transitions Feel So Hard? Even when a change is positive, it can still be stressful. Returning to school often means adjusting to new routines, expectations, responsibilities, and sometimes new social environments. When we don't know exactly what to expect, our minds can easily fill in the gaps with what ifs: What if I don't make friends? What if I can't keep up? What if my child struggles? What if this year is harder than I expect? Anxiety thrives in the space between what we know and what we don't. This is why even something as familiar as returning to school can feel overwhelming. What Can Back-to-School Anxiety Look Like? Anxiety doesn't always look like obvious worry. For children, it might show up as irritability, difficulty sleeping, stomachaches or headaches, clinginess, or wanting to avoid school. For adults and older students, it may look more like overthinking, perfectionism, difficulty sleeping, procrastination, or feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done. Creating Structure Without Creating Pressure
At the same time, give yourself room to adjust. You don't need to have the perfect routine on the first day, and you don't need to know exactly how the entire semester will go. The goal isn't to eliminate uncertainty, it's to remind yourself that you can handle things as they come. And if you're supporting a child who is feeling anxious, remember that validation can be more helpful than simply saying, "Don't worry, everything will be fine." Try acknowledging the feeling instead: "It makes sense that you're nervous. There's a lot that's changing." When Is It More Than Just First-Day Jitters? Some nervousness around a major transition is completely normal but if anxiety persists, interferes with sleep or eating, leads to significant avoidance, causes frequent physical symptoms, or begins interfering with everyday life, it may be time to seek additional support. You don't have to wait until anxiety becomes unbearable before reaching out. The beginning of a new school year doesn't require you to feel completely ready. Sometimes, managing anxiety means learning to make room for uncertainty while trusting that you can navigate whatever comes next. SOURCES: Five tips to manage back-to-school anxiety (parents’ that is!) | Brown University Health. Five Tips to Manage Back-to-School Anxiety (Parents’ that is!). (2021, August 2). https://www.brownhealth.org/be-well/five-tips-manage-back-school-anxiety-parents Pelaez, M., & Novak, G. (2020). Returning to School: Separation Problems and Anxiety in the Age of Pandemics. Behavior analysis in practice, 13(3), 521–526. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40617-020-00467-2 By Emma Shelton, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
When people typically think about substance use counseling, they may imagine that you have to be in crisis or at “rock bottom” to seek help. Truthfully, there are no requirements you need to meet in order to explore your relationship with alcohol or other substances. Substance use can affect mental health in many ways. Some people may notice that they rely on alcohol or substances to manage anxiety, stress, difficult emotions, or past experiences. Others may be questioning if their use has started to affect their relationships, work, school, or general well-being. For some, therapy may be part of maintaining recovery or navigating changes in their substance use. Working with a therapist who has specialized training in substance use can provide a supportive and nonjudgmental space to explore these concerns. That is one reason we are excited to welcome Victoria Becker, LCSW, a therapist and Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor (CASAC), to our team at Taproot Therapy. What Is a CASAC? A CASAC, or Credentialed Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Counselor, is a professional with specialized education, training, and experience in substance use counseling. CASACs may work with people at many different stages of their relationship with substances. This can include people who are considering making a change, people actively working toward reducing or stopping their substance use, and those maintaining long-term recovery. Importantly, seeking support does not require someone to already have a substance use disorder diagnosis. Therapy can also provide a space to become more curious about patterns surrounding alcohol or substance use and determine whether those patterns align with the life someone wants to be living. Mental Health and Substance Use Are Often Connected Substance use rarely happens in isolation. Mental health, relationships, life experiences, identity, stress, and environment can all influence how someone relates to alcohol or other substances. Substance use can sometimes become a way of coping with difficult emotions or experiences. For example, someone might drink to feel less anxious in social situations or use substances to cope with feelings of depression. Stress, trauma, loneliness, relationship challenges, and major life changes can also influence a person’s relationship with substances. While these strategies may provide temporary relief, they can sometimes create additional challenges over time. Therapy offers an opportunity to better understand your behaviors and what need that behavior may be meeting. From there, clients and therapists can work together to develop alternative coping strategies, increase awareness of triggers, and create realistic and sustainable changes. You Don't Have to Hit Rock Bottom One of the most harmful misconceptions about substance use treatment is the idea that someone needs to wait until their life has become unmanageable before seeking support. There is no minimum level of struggle required to talk about your relationship with substances. You might consider discussing substance use with a therapist if you have found yourself:
Welcoming Victoria Becker to Taproot Therapy We at Taproot Therapy are committed to providing individualized, affirming mental health care, and we are excited to welcome Victoria Becker, LCSW, to the Taproot Therapy team. In addition to her work as a therapist, Victoria is a CASAC with experience supporting people navigating substance use and recovery. Her experience across multiple careers brings a grounded, real-world perspective to life's twists and turns, and her approach blends traditional talk therapy with practical tools like mindfulness, CBT, and motivational interviewing. Finding Support at Taproot Therapy Whether you are actively pursuing recovery, considering changing your relationship with substances, or simply wondering whether some of your habits are still working for you, you do not have to wait for things to become worse before reaching out. At Taproot Therapy, our goal is to meet clients where they are and provide a supportive, collaborative, and nonjudgmental space to explore what change might look like for them. Interested in working with Victoria? Contact Taproot Therapy to learn more about their availability or schedule a consultation. By Kate (Katie) Pargament, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Most of us know someone who seems to always put everyone else first. Maybe that person is you. You say yes when you really want to say no. You apologize even when you didn't do anything wrong. You spend more time worrying about how everyone else feels than checking in with how you're feeling. On the outside, it can look like kindness or being "easygoing." But on the inside, it can feel exhausting. People-pleasing is often misunderstood. It's not simply about being nice. More often than not, it's a way we've learned to stay connected, avoid conflict, or protect ourselves from rejection. Many people who struggle with people-pleasing didn't wake up one day and decide to ignore their own needs. These patterns usually develop over time. Maybe you grew up feeling like you had to keep the peace in your family. Maybe expressing your emotions wasn't welcomed, or you learned that being helpful earned you love and approval. Whatever the reason, those strategies probably served a purpose at one point. The problem is that what helped you get through childhood may not be helping you in adulthood. Over time, constantly putting yourself last can leave you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, and resentful. You may start to lose sight of what you actually want because you're so focused on making sure everyone else is okay. Setting a boundary might feel selfish. Saying no might fill you with guilt. You might even find yourself feeling responsible for other people's emotions, even though they were never yours to carry. The good news is that these patterns can change. Healing from people-pleasing isn't about becoming less caring or suddenly putting yourself first all the time. It's about creating room for your needs alongside everyone else's. It's about learning that you can be compassionate without sacrificing yourself in the process. That kind of change doesn't happen just by reading about boundaries or telling yourself to "care less." It happens by practicing new ways of relating to yourself and to other people. That's one of the reasons group therapy can be so powerful. A process group gives you the chance to notice your patterns as they're happening. Maybe you catch yourself holding back because you don't want to take up too much space. Maybe you realize you're trying to make sure everyone else is comfortable before speaking. Maybe you notice yourself agreeing with others when you actually feel differently. Instead of judging those moments, they become opportunities to understand yourself and try something new. At Taproot Therapy, we're excited to offer People-Pleasing: A Relational Process Group, facilitated by Blair Jacobs, MHC-LP, and myself, Clinical Trainee Katie Pargament. This small, LGBTQIA+ affirming group draws from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), attachment theory, existential therapy, and systems theory to help adults who experience chronic self-abandonment, an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for others, buried resentment, or fearful avoidance in relationships. Together, we'll explore how to:
If you've ever found yourself wondering why it feels so hard to ask for what you need, set a boundary, or stop carrying everyone else's emotions, you're not alone. These patterns make sense, and they can change. Sometimes, healing begins by discovering that you don't have to earn your place in relationships by abandoning yourself. If you are interested in joining, reach out to [email protected] for a free 15 minute consultation to see if this group is right for you. By Emma Dall, Taproot Therapy Clinical Trainee
Anxiety is something everyone experiences. It can show up before an important presentation, when we are faced with uncertainty, or when something feels outside of our control. In many situations, anxiety serves an important purpose: it warns us of potential threats and prepares our bodies to respond. However, anxiety can sometimes become a cycle that feels difficult to break. We may begin avoiding situations, seeking reassurance, or trying to control our thoughts and feelings to try and feel better. While these strategies can provide temporary relief, they may unintentionally reinforce anxiety over time. Understanding how this cycle works can be an important first step toward changing it. What Is the Anxiety Cycle?The anxiety cycle often follows a pattern: Trigger → Anxious Thoughts → Physical Symptoms → Avoidance or Safety Behaviors → Short-Term Relief → Increased Anxiety The cycle can look different for everyone, but this underlying sequence is often the same. 1. A TriggerThe cycle typically begins with a trigger. A trigger can be an external situation, such as an upcoming exam, social event, doctor's appointment, or difficult conversation. It can also be something internal, such as a physical sensation, memory, or thought. For example, imagine a student who has an upcoming exam. Simply thinking about the exam may be enough to trigger anxiety. 2. Anxious ThoughtsAfter a trigger, our brains may begin to interpret the situation as threatening. We might start imagining everything that could go wrong or underestimate our ability to cope. The student might think, “What if I fail?” “I'm going to forget everything,” or “If I don't do well, everyone will think I'm stupid.” These thoughts can feel very convincing in the moment. The more attention we give them, the more threatening the situation may begin to feel. 3. Physical and Emotional SymptomsAnxious thoughts can activate the body's stress response. This may lead to symptoms such as a racing heart, sweaty palms, muscle tension, stomachaches, dizziness, difficulty concentrating, or feeling restless or on edge. Sometimes these physical sensations become a source of anxiety themselves. Someone might notice their heart racing and think, “Something is wrong with me,” which creates even more fear and increases the physical symptoms. 4. Avoidance and Safety BehaviorsWhen anxiety feels uncomfortable, it is natural to want to make it stop. One of the most common ways we do this is through avoidance. Avoidance might mean skipping a social event, putting off an assignment, not making a phone call, or avoiding situations that feel uncomfortable. Other times, we use what are called safety behaviors. These might include repeatedly checking, asking others for reassurance, over-preparing, or constantly looking for signs that everything will be okay. These behaviors can feel helpful because they reduce anxiety in the moment. 5. Short-Term ReliefWhen we avoid something or find a way to reduce uncertainty, our anxiety often decreases temporarily. That relief can feel like confirmation that we made the right choice. For example, if a student avoids studying because thinking about the exam feels overwhelming, they may initially feel much calmer. The brain can learn from this experience: “I felt anxious about the exam, I avoided thinking about it, and then I felt better.” 6. The Cycle ContinuesThe problem is that this short-term relief can reinforce the behavior. The next time a similar situation occurs, the brain may respond with even more anxiety because it has not had the opportunity to learn that the situation is manageable. Over time, the avoidance cycle can become: Anxiety → Avoidance → Relief → More Anxiety → More Avoidance This is one reason anxiety can sometimes grow even when we are doing everything we can to avoid feeling anxious. Breaking the CycleBreaking the anxiety cycle does not mean getting rid of anxiety altogether. Anxiety is a natural human emotion, and trying to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling can actually make anxiety more powerful. Instead, breaking the cycle often involves learning that we can experience anxiety without allowing it to determine what we do. This might involve noticing anxious thoughts without automatically believing them, practicing coping skills when uncomfortable sensations arise, and gradually approaching situations that have been avoided. Over time, these experiences can help the brain learn that discomfort does not necessarily mean danger, and that we are often more capable of handling difficult situations than anxiety tells us. |
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